help she wont let me see my kids

[jesuisnoir]

My wife and I arent even divorced yet and she wont even let me see my kids, im trying my best not to go over to her house and start trouble (im a product of divorce and I know what it did to me ) but she is playing the single mom role and im really having a hard time dealing with her. Now my situation is really bad beacuse she has a family full of pedifiles, now she wants to send my kids to New york were we are from .They can stay with me but she is really being a jerk about it.I am poor so she is counting on that ,( I cant afford a lawyer) she already went to file a pitition for a restraining order against me ( she failed to appear in court nor serve me)I have not been around her nor my kids in a month.She is filling thier heads with bad things about me, and I feel so helpless. I bought my eldest dauhter a cell phone to keep in contact with them , she (wife) broke it 1 week after I bought it for my daughter because she called me to tell me that her mom left them home alone.She refuses to pick up the phone when I call , and refuse to let me see my kids.i really need help beacuse im in florida and they really dont care about the dads out here. i have been both mother and father to these kids for the last 11 years, and now she is ruining mmy relationship with my kids. please help!

[Ref]

If you are in the panhandle I could maybe help you find a good lawyer. I know you said that you don't have money, but you need to start thinking about putting yourself in debt now to avaoid it later and to avoid losing your kids. Look at loans and credit cards.

There are things you can do on your own. Right now you should file a temporary motion for custody. It will be hard because you have gone a month or more now letting your ex be the custodial parent, but it can be done. I'll attach a link at the bottom of this message that will get you to some forms.

To prove you were the primay caretaker, get proof. Letters from teachers, neighbors, clergy.... I'm sure others on this page can give you more ideas on that.

I urge you to call every lawyer in the area that does free consults too. It is a good way to get some extra info and, I think, it will keep them from being able to help your ex.

Here's the link to start.
http://www.flcourts.org/gen_public/family/forms_rules/index.shtml

Here is a child support calculator to see what the damage might be

http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/Childsupport/florida/

Good Luck
Ref

[Ref]

It seems that the forms focus on child support as far as temporary orders go. Go to your courthouse and ask them for form for temporary order of custody.

Ref

[Finnchadh]

Listening to what you have said brings back some memories I have worked diligently to bury.  What I am going to say to you will sound harsh and possibly even judgmental – please take the time to cool down and read it a second time; I believe I am going to tell you what I believe is the truth based on my experience.

You are an emotional disaster.  More importantly you are in the process of creating an emotional Hell that will lead you to insanity; one that you may not recover from.  First off and foremost you absolutely need an attorney who is Father friendly and empathic – but not sympathetic.  If there are resources here that you can use to achieve this – use them quickly.

You are not fit to make the kind of decisions needed to give your kids the best possible opportunity to have the most of what you have to offer as a parent.  You are so close to a type of emotional breakdown that you have lost your impartiality; you must stop, take a breath and realize where you actually are.  You have to focus on this; your kids need the very best you can give them.  In order to give them your very best you must put things into your bucket; you cannot pour anything out of an empty bucket.  If you go into the Court in this condition pro-se; you could very well be eviscerated - legally.  If you are this distraught and appear in Court, even if you are represented, you could still lose – the Court will be looking at you.  You must, absolutely must – focus and realize that your kids need you – whole, sane and competent.  You must present yourself to the court as accepting your marital situation and focused on the children; your children and how you can be the best parent this court will allow.  Focus on that, Your Honor, I want to be the very best parent this court will allow me to be.  Say it how ever many times it takes for you to stop retching and believe.  If you can foster this attitude and convince the court of the same; you have a chance.  Get an attorney asap.

Please do not think me cruel.  You have a living nightmare staring you in the face and it seems like I am criticizing you; I am not.  You are living what I have survived; I am trying to tell you about the traps that ensnared and almost destroyed me.  The price I am still paying is a daughter's love.  This is your life and you will endure your consequences good or bad.  Please get an attorney.