series called "What About The Kids?"

[Bolivar]

[FONT SIZE=+2]Making Shared Custody Work[/FONT]

[A HREF=http://www.cbsnews.com/sections/i_video/main500251.shtml?id=2003321n]
There is a short commercial then the series.

In a series called "What About The Kids?" Tracy Smith looks at no-fault divorce laws. She visits with a divorced couple who have shared custody of their three kids. Is it too much for the kids?

--------------------------------

Basically what Tracy Smith is saying in her series called "What About The Kids?" in the segment "Making Shared Custody Work" concerning 50/50 custody is if Mom creates conflict she gets the kids. (sorry, I'm generalizing)

Very disappointing. Tracy Smith obviously is uneducated about the BIG picture of divorce and what is taking place.

They gave Glenn Slacks 3 seconds air time. I'm sure his interview was much, much longer. I wonder why she cut so much out?


Tracy Smith thinks 50/50 will work if:

1) Parents Live close by
2) Parents get along
3) Parents are Flexible and work together
4) Parents Both nice houses
5) Something about a nanny.


Tracy Smith said:
"Kids do better in an unhappy marriage (than divorce) as long as there's no abuse or fighting."

[Bolivar]

ATTENTION:
For those of you that are able to get the PBS station WOSU Channel 34 out of Columbus, OH the new documentary

[FONT SIZE=+2]Kid's & Divorce: For Better or Worse[/FONT]

will be shown starting this evening. A Schedule is pasted below.

This is the documentary those was produced in response to the "Breaking the Silence: A kids Story" documentary that was shown earlier this year so full of lies and bias.

When to Watch

Kids & Divorce: For Better or Worse

*D indicates digital channel

Check for more broadcast times in your viewing area Select date(s) from the list below.


WOSU TV34

CHANNEL 34

Kids & Divorce: For Better or Worse
Thursday, September 14, 10:00pm

The impact of divorce on youngsters is examined.


Kids & Divorce: For Better or Worse
Sunday, September 17, 1:00am

The impact of divorce on youngsters is examined.


WOSU PLUS

*D

Kids & Divorce: For Better or Worse
Saturday, September 16, 4:00am

The impact of divorce on youngsters is examined.


Kids & Divorce: For Better or Worse
Sunday, September 17, 1:00am

The impact of divorce on youngsters is examined.


Kids & Divorce: For Better or Worse
Sunday, September 17, 8:00pm

The impact of divorce on youngsters is examined.


Kids & Divorce: For Better or Worse
Monday, September 18, 12:00am

The impact of divorce on youngsters is examined.


Kids & Divorce: For Better or Worse
Monday, September 18, 3:00am

The impact of divorce on youngsters is examined.

Select date(s) from the list above and click

[melissa3]

nm

[Bolivar]

LOL

Perhaps you care to use a some logic and reason in your response.

However, if name calling is the best you can do, so be it.

[Kent]

I haven't seen the documentary yet, but:

<
1) Parents Live close by
2) Parents get along
3) Parents are Flexible and work together
4) Parents Both nice houses
5) Something about a nanny. >>

Having 50/50 shared custody I wholeheartedly agree with the first 3 conditions.

My ex moved 1hr-15min away, refused to get along with me, is not flexible and unwilling to work with me.
The result? The shared custody arrangement is a total failure, and our son is the one suffering the most.
But since he's only 10, and the GAL is completely incompetent, nothing will change until he's old enough to make a choice.
He's very vocal about his choice to everybody (us, coaches, friends, relatives), except to his mother.

Kent!

[melissa3]

I apologize. No, I do not like to name call, I was just completely dumbfounded by that statement "Kids do fine in an unhappy marrige, as long as there is no fighting or abuse" because obviously an unhappy marrige is a result of fighting and (maybe) abuse.

Kids are happy when the parents are happy and are getting along. I think kids would be better off living with happily seperated parents instead of living  with parents who were together but didnt get a long.

Just my own opinion, from my own experience with my parents divorce.

[MYSONSDAD]

Well, did they do what they promised to do? No one is giving feed back and it is not airing in Illinois. And yes, I have written all the stations I could find e-mail addresses for, of course, no one responded.

It is a shame an agreement was not made to air this documentary like they did "Breaking the Silence" which is still airing and available for teachers to use in their classrooms.

Glad to see you here, BOL, it's been a while.....

[Bolivar]

** I will be doing some generalizing, please do not take offence.

The way I interpreted Tracy Smiths conclusion is that if the parents get along the court will grant 50/50 custody, IF the parents do NOT get along the courts will assign one parent to be the residential parent (custodial parent).

So we all know what that means.  If mom doesn't want 50/50 custody she will make a fuss; and mom knows that if 50/50 is not adopted she will 95% of the time be named the residential parent and the dad will be an every other weekend visitor.


So we get a lot of the vague "the parent's are fighting" rhetoric that I hear from the counselors / GALs / lawyers / magistrates / judges in my case.  Since mom is making a fuss about 50/50 custody the parents are labeled "High Conflict" and ordered to Mediation-Counseling-Therapy

Isn't it interesting that there is never an order that reads like this:

[FONT SIZE=+2]The mother is prohibited for signing the children up for any school, after school activity, birthday party, summer camp, medical treatment, etc. without first consulting with the child's father.[/FONT]


So counseling boils down to Dad getting hen pecked by a fleet of "experts" that explain how if you would just do EVERYTHING she says, it would stop this conflict which is so damaging to the children...

.....as if the "conflict" just exists somehow rather than conflict being caused by the actions of one person - and most of the time those actions are in violation of a court order or are described in ORC 3109.04 as specific reason that one parent should not be designated as custodian of the children.

I about threw up when I saw that PBS show this week.   If I hear how the "parent's have no insight as to how their legal dispute adversely affects the children" one more time I think I'm going to just explode.  

"no insight" is code for dad won't do everything mom wants  - which includes Dad should NOT BE filing a motion for contempt (..and let's just forget the fact that contempt's are only filed when one party fails to follow a court order), or Dad should NOT BE filing objections to judges orders because they are simply not a win-win.  This makes mom mad after all which  creates the conflict.

When I went back to court for 50/50 custody the GAL assigned to the case had audacity to say "if this goes to trial this will tremendously increase the antagonism/resentment between the parents".

I said "I know, but she will not agree to 50/50 custody and wants me to remain an every other weekend dad.  Children need both parents involved in there life to grow up emotionally healthy.  4 days a month (every other weekend) is not enough time to be a parent."

The GAL looked at me and shrugged his shoulders.  My interpretation was "oh well"

Just more of the same bull...


What I intend to do with my new GAL who's been assigned to my case by the great state of Ohio is to let him know that "tension" between the parents exists because of specific actions on the part of one parent.  That without those actions (clearly documented by the legislature in ORC 3109.04) there would be no battle.  

[FONT SIZE=+2]The term "battle" between the parents is no more accurate than describing 9/11 as a battle between the terrorists and the people defending the WTC towers.  The attacks in this "battle" are unprovoked, always initiated by one side, and always involve a complete disregard for the other parent's wishes, feelings and schedule.[/FONT]

....sorry for the rant .....

[Bolivar]

Hey MYSONSDAD,

Thanks for the HELLO!! :-)  :-) Yes, it has been awhile since I have been on this forum.


Here is my feed back on the show.  (I mentioned this below, sorry for the rewrite.)

I about threw up when I saw that PBS show this week.  

If I hear how the "parent's have no insight as to how their legal dispute adversely affects the children" one more time I think I'm going to just explode.  


"no insight" is code for dad won't do everything mom wants - which includes

      Dad should NOT BE filing a motion for contempt (..and let's just forget the fact that contempt's are only filed when one party fails to follow a court order).  This makes mom mad after all which creates the conflict.

      Dad should NOT BE filing objections to judges orders because they are simply not a win-win. This makes mom mad after all which creates the conflict.


So we get a lot of the vague "the parent's are fighting" rhetoric that I hear from the counselors / GALs / lawyers / magistrates / judges in my case. Since mom is making a fuss about 50/50 custody the parents are labeled "High Conflict" and ordered to Mediation-Counseling-Therapy

So we all know what that means. If mom doesn't want 50/50 custody she will make a fuss; and mom knows that if 50/50 is not adopted she will 95% of the time be named the residential parent and the dad will be an every other weekend visitor.

Just more of the same bull...

What I intend to do with my new GAL who's been assigned to my case by the great state of Ohio is to let him know that "tension" between the parents exists because of specific actions on the part of one parent.  That without those actions (clearly documented by the legislature in ORC 3109.04) there would be no battle.  

[FONT SIZE=+2]The term "battle" between the parents is no more accurate than describing 9/11 as a battle between the terrorists and the people defending the WTC towers.  The attacks in this "battle" are unprovoked, always initiated by one side, and always involve a complete disregard for the other parent's wishes, feelings and schedule.[/FONT]



I would love to see a court order that reads like this:

The mother is prohibited for signing the children up for any school, after school activity, birthday party, summer camp, medical treatment, etc. without first consulting with the child's father.

[MYSONSDAD]

I was wondering about PBS. In your reply to Kent, I thought you were referring to another article.

I hear ya on the ex, mine delibertly causes the conflict for this very reason. I simply gather my son and walk away, not saying a word. Let her record, bring it to court. MAybe she will slip up and have her mouth going and forget to edit it out.

And I too am sick of, "I have plans, you can't see your son".

Thinking about going to court in a dress, just to make a point....

And then I see my bro who has never walked inside a courtroom and has his daughter 24/7. There are some true moms out there. Maybe combined efforts of all NCP's, mothers and fathers, we could get better results. All seem to face the same issues. Hope I live long enough to see real change.

"Children learn what they live"