Want to file for full custody (Kinda long. Sorry.)

[D.J.]

I am currently planning on filing for full custody of my son. Just have a few concerns and I'm worried about losing in court. Here are the basics.
I dated his mother about 7 years ago. We split up, found out she was pregnant afterwards. She married my 2nd cousins, we grew up like brothers. She was always one to try and start fights between people over her to get attention. SHe has always been very childish and money hungry. That comes from her mother I believe because she doen't work , doesn't really do anything besides drive her father crazy drunk. I used to live with them and this guy stayed drunk 98% of the time to deal with it all. The other 2% he worked or slept. Anyway, back on subject. After my son was born she kept running her mouth about stuff and kept her husband and myself into it all the time. I left the situation alone about him being my son because a very close family friend who I trusted said the child wasn't mine. Eventually when things calmed down when she figured out that I wasn't fighting for her anymore. It stayed ok for about 3 yrs. Then one year around my birthday she cam to my place of work Crying about the problems between her and her husband, financial, marital, etc. And claiming the child was mine. She wanted a test. I finally seen the child, and I didn't need a test. I knew right then. But test it was. She filed, husband got angry again, scared her away from going to court. Threatened me to drop it. She dropped her petition and I went right downstairs and filed mine. BAck to court, husband again threatened her and myself. He attacked me and my fiancee in the courthouse. This went on for about a year in court. I was there almost every wed. and she never showed up out of fear from her husband. Finally an arrest warrant got her there, having the test done was the same situation. All said and done, he's mine 100%. Nothing but problems every since. The husband tries to control everything about the situation. She has custodial and I'm non. My son is now 6 and doesn't completely understand the whole situation yet. He cries to me sometimes because his step father abuses his mother and he cries for help, and doesn't know what to do. They never spend time with the kids other than the weekends. Oh, they have a child together now also. The kids go to school in the morning, go to her mothers in the afternoon, most of the time unsupervised, and the step father picks them up in the evenings on his way home. The mother works from 2-10 at night. The father only picks the kids up when they have football or something else to do. Otherwise the mother at 11:00pm. The stepfather will not have my son at the court ordered meeting spot when I'm supposed to pick my son up. I usually have to go hunt them down. Over the past 2 months I've seen my son 2 days. When I have standard visitation of every other weekend. This is one reason, next my son has very poor dental and physical hygiene. Every tooth in his mouth is rotten. He says he rarely ever brushes his teeth at home caus eno one helps him. All they ever get fed is mostly junk food. Sometimes they get chicken strips or something like that. Bith the children are always dirty. I believe my son is malnourished. He is almost 7 and only weighs 33 lbs. Skin and bones. But not sure how to prove that. He says they have food at home. Honestly I want what is best for both children. I can't file for custody of their child but I can for mine. I'm not sure how it will go because of the separation issues from his little brother. I've heard bad things there. I just want the best for both of them. Many other details involved, I just don't want to make this any longer. Please help with any advice possible. What should I do. Oh, and my child support was recenlt raised dramaticall because I took a different job that allows me to spend more time with my son. When I'm allowed to do that!!! I don't want this to seem like a retalliation move against that. Because its not. I have no problem paying my support and never have. I just want the best for the children. Please, anyone who can help, I'm begging for suggestions!!

[ocean]

Custody is very hard to change (you really do not have proof, son is too young) but you could go for more visitation due to mother's work schedule OR you can change the pick-up place at school that way step-dad is not invoved at all. If you live close enough to their school district, you could ask for at least one overnight per week too. Every time they are not there at pick-up file contempt. Do you have a meeting place? If you do, buy something from near-by with a dated receipt, wait a half hour and go by something again (cheap-gum!). This proves you were there at the designated time. You can tell you son if he is ever scared he can call 911 or tell his teacher at school the next day. The school is required by law to report it.
Good luck!

[D.J.]

What kind of proof would I need is the question I need answered. There are alot more details to this situation then there may seem. I am wondering what I would need to go to court with. I want the best for both the boys even though one is not mine. I have already filed contempt charges, thats what I have to go to court for, my lawyer just wants to piggyback that case with my custody case if possible. I need some inside advice because he is not sure what will work either. We are both kinda looking. I live in the same district, I guess, we live in the country and our homes are about 20 min apart. He would still go to the same school if thats you're question. I have written down and reported almost every incident. I just need to know what kind of rock hard evidence will be needed in court. I agree with you totally though; custody IS hard to change, but I have to get my son and his brother out of that situation. Please help.

[ocean]

You can not do anything for the brother. You have no legal right to him at all. CPS would have to take him away for neglect.
Proof-Anything that you have....school records with absences and lates? Unless you have a big case for neglect I think it is going to be hard to get the kids split up. Since you live in the same district, then can go for more custody more easily, especially overnights. The bus can come to you on your days.
Good luck!

[D.J.]

Are there any "designated" websites or links that deal with issues like this. Such as one that would, in detail, explain the statutes for custody change or increase in visitation. I am not sure if I would have enough proof for full custody but I would like to get more visitation. I'm just looking for some guidelines of things to get proof of. I'm not a lawyer by any means and never claimed to be, I need all the help I can get. I love my son and only want the best for him. I honestly believe being with my family is what is best for him. I need help learning the stuff I have to prove in court to accomplish this. If I have to settle for increased visitation now and wait until later to re-file. Then thats what I have to do. But I don't want it to come to that. I would like to have my son now and also be able to do something for his brother. First I have to help my son though. Please, if anyone knows any pertinent information, list it so I can utilize all my resources. Thanx!