Help from Tucson

[DougK]

Hi there,
I am a father in Tucson AZ whose son is living with his mother in New Jersey. She left right before the baby was born then while in Jersey proceeded to get on welfare who in turn took Child Support actions against me. I am the father of this child and I understand the needs for Child Support. I was not able to go to Jersey because of a job and a lease and bills I was trying to pay. I was trying to be a responsible adult. I immediately contacted new jersey about this and was told that I had to appear in a new jersey courtroom within 30 days in order to have my default judgment adjusted accordingly. There was no way I could do this. I contacted Artizona about this and was told that it is out of their jurisdiction and there was nothing they can do. So I worked and paid payments to jersey while trying to save to go there. Then my pachecks started getting garnished weekly and eventually causing me to lose my living quarters which in turn costed me my job and my drivers license. I have always made the payments through the garnishment system because I now have no money to send. I still do not have my drivers license and currently am unemployed. I cannot find a job that is willing to pay me more than minimum wage because of the child support issue. I do take what jobs I am offered. I like to work it makes you feel whole and human. I have never tried to avoid any responsibility in this case. Yet today my life is ruined financially emotionally and career-wise. I have never met my son yet I think about him everyday wishing silent wishes for his health and emotion. I have discovered along the way that Arizona provides me some protection against garnishment that only allows anyone to take no more than 50% of any of my paychecks. This is both a help and a hindrance in that on one hand I am protrected but at the same time it prevents me from paying the full amount were I able to pay it. I have received paychecks  for the net income of 1 dollar. If I go to Jersey to resolve this surely I will be incarcerated for the amount owed (at this time it is over 30,000 dollars) I have paid it every time I am able as much as I can but it keeps piling up. Without my drivers license I am not able to travel more than a few miles to work and thus I am very limited in my job search. I have tried various work from home schemes to supplement my income to no avail.I am currently homeless and jobless where once I had a bright future as a programmer. I am staying with a freind who thank god understands my dilemma yet I have a hard time being a sponge to my freind. If it weren't for them I would be living in the desert and surely would be in a lot worse shape than I am now. I guess I am asking for any advice in my situation. I am somewhat ignorant of the law and in financial areas outside my own experiences with income. I cannot afford a lawyer or even to eat. I cannot afford to go to Jersey and if I did as I stated surely I would be incarcerated. I am not a criminal nor a debtor. I have always tried to make moralistically correct desicions and lead a good life. I have never even had a traffic ticket in my 18 years of driving yet I am deemed as irresponsible and denied this crucial life sustaining thing. It would require me making an average of at least 20 dollars an hour to support these payments and live a normal life with an apartment or house and car. Not many are willing to hire someone for that amount and as I have no qualifications it is especially hard to hire someone like me. I want to be a productive member of society but feel that I am being denied this basic human right. I have never met my son and yearn to meet him badly. I think abou thim every day as I said. I have one picture that was sent to my mother whom forwarded it to me. I cherish that picture of my son on his 20th day of life and sometimes I get so upset to think of all the abuses I suffered by his mother. Other days I think that someday son you'll be all grown up and be a good man. Other days I am sad that I cannot be a part of his life. I can't help but to feel that his mother is telling him how horrible of a person I am and that he will never want to see me. I guess I will never know until he grows up and decides to come and see me on his own irf he can find me. I am open to suggestions and ideas on my plight. I would certainly welcome any advice on the situation here. I never thought one could miss someone they had never met but alas I miss my son desperately and only want good things for him and his life. My wishes are that he grows up to be a good moralistic person who cares about others and that he receives a good education to help him further in his life. I will gladly suffer my current situation to know that this is indeed the outcome.

Thanks for your time,
Down and out in AZ

[Hawkeye]

I think if I were you, I would try to relocate to as close as possible to this "move-away mom" and work to be IN your child's life. Your child was STOLEN from you by her and the state(s).