I saw this in Sunday's Paper...

[FatherTime]

I saw a Dear Abby'ish editorial from the Dallas Morning News.

[a href=http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/fea/columnists/consejos/stories/DN-NSO_consejos_1204liv.ART.State.Edition1.3e17e78.html]Dallas News.com/consejos[/a]

I couldn't believe the response by the advice columnists.  They were all more than willing to just write the dad off, because the mother was afraid.  She admitted that he was a good father.  She admitted that she took part in the fighting that made the young child cry and shake.  She asked for strategies to help her better handle the situation, but the columnists all agreed to take the child from the father.  

There are many other alternatives to removing the father.  It just goes to show how the younger generation sees the role of the father.  They make too many assumptions about the father without really knowing enough about the case.  They heard only one side of the story and ran with it.  

Such good advice from young and inexperienced advice columnists.  (NOT)

The sad thing is that it looks like a whole generation is lost.  A mother can do no wrong, even when she admits it.  She admitted to fighting in front of the child.  It caused the child cry and shake, but it is somehow only his fault?  The mother is kind enough to "allow him to visit her on a regular basis" even though it may be court ordered and the court has already addressed the issue.  Somehow these young advice columnists are smarter than the judge who saw the rest of the information.

I'm not pro abuse, I am against domestic violence.  But what about the rest of the story?  Where is the common sense, dv shelter, police and etc?

Any comments?  

I am going to write a letter to their editor tomorrow.

***Update****

I had to post to their forum.

[a href=http://www.dallasnews.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=16654#16654]http://www.dallasnews.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=16654#16654[/a]
*************

Thanks for reading...

[mistoffolees]

Looks to me like a basic assumption is the cause of all the problems.

They all seem to assume that if the father fights with the mother that he'll fight with the daughter. That assumption seems pretty weak - at best.

Furthermore, it accepts a very one sided premise - that the father is at fault for the mother and father fighting. The fact that the mother claims that he was abusive is hardly conclusive. In fact, I've noticed that it's common for the truly abusive parent to call the other one abusive - at least when we're talking emotional or verbal abuse.

Sounds to me like all the responders missed the point. Having see only one side of the story, I'd be recommending a parental custody evaluation to get to the root of the matter. I'd be willing to bet that the mother isn't as blameless as she's pretending.

[gemini3]

I agree.  They are making a whole lot of assumptions that have no merit legally, or from a socio-psychological standpoint.  Many people who abuse their partners never abuse their children, and vice-versa.

I think both parties are responsible for the fighting going on in front of the daughter.  The old saying "it takes two to tango" is true enough.  If he's a good father that's what matters.  Why don't they suggest counseling for the parents or supervised exchanges by a court appointed gaurdian?

The columnists also don't consider the possibility that this woman could be making false allegations against her ex.  That is more and more common these days, yet people are always quick to side with the woman and make the guy out to be the problem with no evidence, just a "scorned" woman's word.  

Sad.  It's really sad.  They need new columnists.

[harmony1]

Another disturbing article: http://www.capitalnews9.com/content/your_news/capital_region/default.asp?ArID=199942

As a mother, I will clearly go on the record here to state that this hypocritical bias towards mothers MUST END - look at who is getting hurt!  Should this man have had (at least) joint custody, this may have been prevented or at least stopped imediately.

harmony1

[FatherTime]

Follow Up: On your story

http://www.capitalnews9.com/content/headlines/?SecID=33&ArID=200123

Other Links to this case in the "related stories" area at the bottom of the article.

Any word on where the child is now?