Fear for safety of my sons

[barnusloadly]

I am desparately searching for as many options as I can.

 I lived with a person unmarried for six years. We have two boys. One son I am the legal father, the other I am not. They are my sons and my life.

 I knew mom had some troubles in previous marriages but not to the degree found after trying to find my sons.

 In June 0f 2006 our home started falling apart. She would not help with the proper care of the boys and completely (seemingly intentionally) destroyed our home in filth and abuse. The stress was extremely high and arguments were frequent. All was verbal and mainly focused on my sons safety and welfare.

 Her constant activity night and day surrounded around her laptop and cell phone and heavy metal musicians. We later discovered web sites, myspace etc. with activities that scared me to death. Pictures of my sons to unknowns with our location, giving out her cell and our home phone number. Ludicrous and revealing emails to very suspicous or unknown persons.

  She filed a verbal abuse restraining order removed my oldest son from school and left. The order was dropped at the hearing. She didn't show up.

  My fear is for my babies. Investigation has found her past checkered with trouble. First marriage surrounded violence and drugs, and shootings. The first husband was sentenced to five years in prison, and she was jailed.

  The second marriage much the same. Husband kidnapped my oldest son to try and avoid child support. Both were investigated for child abuse of a step daughter. The second husband has not communicated with my oldest son in six years.

  I have an attorney, hired private investigators and have filed a parental kidnapping incident report with the sheriffs department. (no cooperation
whatsoever).

 This person is a very convincing individual and very adept at manipulating the system. She uses many areas of ploy. joining care2, animal rights, amber alert member, etc. etc. etc. Research and desparately trying to find my sons has shown otherwise. relationship with a metal group where a band member is being charged with felony sexual assault of a minor.

  I have never been arrested in my life, don't drink, high standing and respect in my community, love my boys more than anything. I had never been in court for anything before this. It makes a person feel dirty and flawed. I am close to her parents, we talk every day, but they live in Japan.


  I am desparately searching for any or all other options that would help in finding my sons. It's been one month.


God Bless


 

[mistoffolees]

Have you contacted the FBI? Once enough time has elapsed that the child COULD HAVE been transported across state lines, they can legally get involved.

The FBI has a mania about finding kidnappers and returning kids to their homes.

[barnusloadly]

>Have you contacted the FBI? Once enough time has elapsed that
>the child COULD HAVE been transported across state lines, they
>can legally get involved.
>
>The FBI has a mania about finding kidnappers and returning
>kids to their homes.

Thank You!  I will check this right away. There is so much I am not aware of.

[FLMom]

I am so sorry for the situation you are going through. I can only imagine that it is absolutely terror filled.

Glad to see that you have an attorney. What has he/she advised as the next step? Mind you, I am not a lawyer, so please do not construct this post as legal advice. I would be hammering my lawyer to file for an emergency ex parte hearing since she has absconded with the kids. If a judge finds that she has illegally left with the kids, you could possibly then file for sole custody and ask that a warrant be served for her arrest.

If you are able to get a warrant for her arrest for parental abduction, your next step could be to get in touch with the NCMEC--The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. They would be listed in a nationwide database.

If you are able to do this, then the next step would be to get in touch with missing children organizations. There are several that come to mind.

//www.charleyproject.org

//www.projectjason.org

//www.klaaskids.org

Getting their names and faces out there will be key to finding them and bringing them home. Once you have your ducks in a row with the legal aspect, the next suggestion would be to go to the largest local or regional paper close to you and grovel to see if someone will write an article on the kids.

A word of caution. It's a sad fact that a lot of law enforcement agencies will pooh-pooh a report of custodial interference, with the sad mindset that just because they are with one of their parents everything is OK. Just be ready to fight that assumption.

You may be able to get some other ideas at another forum I belong to. These people are GREAT and may have some good brainstorming ideas on where to look and what to do next--- //www.websleuths.com ---.

Good luck to you, and please let us know how everything is going.

FLMom

[barnusloadly]

Thank so much FLMom.

Your pointers will be top issues and questions at my attorneys first thing in
morning.  11 years military, growing up in the country's most blighted city, I have never felt such terror, helplessness and emptyness.

My attorneys are focused primarily on getting an address to serve all the papers.
I have several investigators searching. I would do anything, anything just to hear the words "my boys are ok."

I am blessed to have the resources that many parents do not.  There seems to be
so many cards stacked against a parent just wanting to love their children.

There are three hearings set and I know one is an expedited one.

God Bless

[FatherTime]

I'm not an attorney, lawyer, feminist, mediator, counselor, nor am I an authority on any topic.

That being said, this is what I would suggest.

The custodial interference charges are only enforced if the concealment is from the custodial parent.  Sad fact but true.  I know first hand.

I would go to the Child Support office and request her last known address.  If she is trying to receive any state aid, then she will have to supply her current address.  They will notify her and give her 30 days notice to reply.  If she doesn't reply then they will give you her last known address.  This is only if she has applied in your state.  If she is in another state then she may lay low for six months.  That should be enough for you to get her served.

______________________________________

I would say that her leaving is a tactic to gain jurisdiction elsewhere, in order to get another state's laws and judicial bias in her favor.  Just like the [em]verbal [/em] abuse charge was a tactic, in my opinion.  The message that she would be trying to send is: "Back off or I'll have you arrested."  

You said:
  "This person is a very convincing individual and very adept at manipulating the system. She uses many areas of ploy. joining care2, animal rights, amber alert member, etc. etc. etc. "


AMBER ALERT MEMBER?!?  FIND OUT HER CONTACTS THERE!!!
__________________________________

Now some suggestions for you.

Eat, sleep, and take care of yourself.  Your kids will not be ok without you, so take good care of yourself.  I have been there, lost the weight, been through the depression.  The frustration and discouragement from the "officials" and lawyers can be so tiring.  Remember that "cooler heads prevail."

When you do get visitation established, never Never NEVER!!! go alone.  Keep a diary, (see timetracker- Optimal >>> )
If she's as adept at manipulating the system as you say then you definitely must be on guard for false charges to be made on your pickups and dropoffs.  

Good luck and God speed,

[FLMom]

I remembered some cases from the FBI website and wanted to link them for you. They're sad stories, but at least they'll give you an idea of how long you may have to wait to see things done through the court system and what the process may be.

*Never married but in the middle of custody trial:

http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/parent/fernandez.htm


*Mother fled just prior to divorce proceedings:

http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/parent/clark.htm


*Custody awarded to father after mother failed to appear:

http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/parent/wilson.htm


*Joint custody in place, mother violated the order:

http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/parent/torres.htm


*Never married, joint managing guardians, mother took off:

http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/parent/tomayko.htm


*Mother left during divorce proceedings, father awarded custody:

http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/parent/slinkard.htm


*Parents married, mother just came home one day and father had left with daughter:

http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/parent/budiman.htm



If nothing else, at least these cases show that they will go after either parent for taking off with the child or children, even if custody wasn't established at the time the children were taken. Hopefully your reunion with the kids will happen significantly faster than these cases!

FLMom

[MrR]

Unless she lives on a cash basis for every aspect of her life, she can be found. Credit and gas cards, ATMs, checking accounts, hotels, cell phones, rent, drivers license, auto registration, air fare, employment etc... all leave a trace.

It is nearly impossible for an adult to avoid being located (if you have their DL# or SS#) via a good investigator.

Ask your investigators if they have Merlin access...if not, look elsewhere. Ask your law enforcement agency to run a NCIC(FBI) trace on her.

If nothing pops up, try again in 30 days , as many of the data bases are updated monthly.

Access to the account info listed above will likely reveal her current location.