advice??

[John-J-Jay]

Posters

I've been fighting the court system it appears for now 7 strong months to get my ex-wife to pay child support that she hasn't paid in over 4 years. Each time we have it set for a hearing she files something to have it delayed or ask for a continuance, she asked for discovery which we complied, she filed a friviolus motion for contempt which was BS to say the least (it got thrown out of court).

Does anyone have any suggestions to at least get a temporary hearing? My atty has stated that we have to wait, but why do we have to wait on something she should be paying? My atty has advised me that if we get a temporary hearing, he thinks her atty will come forward and say, wait why do we need to pay child support we are now contesting custody.

this is what i have~
8 yrs of custody (Dad)
4 yrs of no child support
our child is a A&B student
our child excells in sports, art, music, reading
our child has great health
nice home in a upscale neighborhood.

why does it take 7 months I spend over $8000 so far on atty fees and haven't even had a temporary hearing to get her to pay child support???

how much longer will it take and any suggestions to get it to speed up?

[janM]

I'm not sure about your state, but my son, who has custody, (we're in Ohio) went to CSEA and filed with them. If she doesn't pay, they use their attorney and it doesn't cost my son anything except time off work to attend hearings.

Bad part is, they are not always on the ball "enforcing" payment (especially wiith a mom). They are finally taking her to court next month after not paying since last November, and most of the time since 2003 (she spent a month in jail last summer).

Even if you can get a hearing, it doesn't mean she'll pay. Then you have to take her back to court for contempt.

On the upside, the more she delays, the more arrears she'll have. And yes, she can delay it by filing for custody. Our BM tried calling CPS on my son twice now, and it's only in an attempt to get GS back so she won't have to pay. Neither time was anything founded, and certainly nothing that would warrant removal. This last time she kept him out of school following New Years holiday, claiming he was sick, had him make false claims to her doctor, and told CSEA she had emergency custody. I think they believed her, too, until they were set straight.

Yes, it's frustrating.

[FLMom]

Welcome to the wonderful world of court hearings.

Family law courts are, with few exceptions, backed up beyond belief. I know that it's frustrating to wait and wait, but unless you are in dire financial straights, I would take your atty's advice to just hold out until the hearing. She's still going to have to pay the same amount of money, she's just prolonging the agony.

The last time we had to go to court, it was a full year from the start of everything being filed until the day of the hearing.

So you don't go insane while waiting, it's a good time to go through your files and put things in order. If it's not relevant, put it in one folder. Make separate folders for things like medical, dental, school expenses, clothes, etc.

Think of it like this: She's just given you an extra amount of time for you to get things in order to fight her. She's helping you, although it may not feel like it now.

Also, I found reading custody related books helpful. It helped me get "family court lingo" down pat before I made an a** of myself in court (i.e. not "my" daughter, but "our" daughter, etc).

Good Luck,
FLMom

[John-J-Jay]

Thanks for the reply,

my ex has my child for the summer and she will use her to try to influence me and harass me about the child support. However I won't go for it. It's amazing that becuase a parent files for child support the other parent counter files for custody. it's been a worry to be about the custody issue for months now, but 8 solid years and a good home "SHOULD" mean alot to the courts at least i hope. Custody is my biggest concern now that i opened up the can of worms.  

[mistoffolees]

In general, the courts don't like to change things that are working. if the child(ren) is(are) doing well, and there are no obvious issues (drugs, abuse, etc), it would be unusual for the courts to change custody.

As for the legal expense, you're entitled to ask for your ex to reimburse your legal expenses. You won't always get it, but if her tactics are clearly frivolous, you may be able to collect some or all of your legal expense from her (depends on the jurisdiction and the particular judge). You should certainly ask for it on the grounds that she's unnecessarily driving up the legal expenses with issues that she has no chance of winning.