Son scared of father...help

[cinb85]

that you want to talk.  You can either post here or send an email.  I took my ex back more times that I would like to admit, but when I finally had enough, it was ME that packed his stuff up and made him leave.  When I dropped him off at this mother's house, he started taking his stuff out of the car.  He didnt' want to leave, so he was taking his sweet time unpacking the car.  I got out of the car and start grabbing his stuff and throwing it on the lawn.  I had finally had enough and I wanted him gone!  Since we have split he has lived with many different women and left everyone of them for another woman.  Unfortunately he keeps fathering children with each of these women, so there are several children out there who aren't being supported (both financially and emotionally) by their father and there are several children out there who don't even know their own siblings!  It's very sad, but once I kicked him out, I was able to move on and take care of myself and our daughter!!!  It wasn't easy, but it made me a much stronger person and I'm glad that I got rid of him!  No one should have to put up with things like that!

Email me anytime!

[jilly]

I agree he's a jerk.  They've been together for 3 years so I don't think she was just jumping in to this.

>What a jerk. At least you are finding this out before you are
>married to him. Looks like her plan worked. I'd contact his
>parents and just check to make sure nothing happened (like car
>accident, etc.). If not, then write him off. If you two are
>living together, get his stuff out pronto and don't let him
>back in the door. His behavior is unacceptable.
>
>Next time, I'd advise a long period of dating and getting to
>know someone before introducing them to your children.
>
>I'm so sorry you are going through this.

[prattwoman]

Thanks...you are correct, i was not jumping into this when introducing him to my children. We had been together for three years, but I've known him five years.

[notnew]

I understand that. I was just speaking my own thoughts being one who has lived and learned. If I had things to do over again, or were ever in that position again, I'd take a lot longer to bring my kids into the relationship. Not a judgement against you. Hell, that sure would be the pot calling the kettle black!! We all live and learn. I am finding that the older I get, the more my beliefs and values lean toward a more conservative slant. Who would have ever thunk it? LOL.

Seriously, I know it's hard for kids to go through divorce and custody issues. It is a kick in the teeth for them when the person you finally decide to get serious with just bugs out for whatever reason. I know you are feeling bad for them and yourself too yet angry too. Such a hard thing to have to face.

Too bad there isn't anyone to tell him to ACT like a man/adult and just handle things responsibly. He should have told you up front instead of acting like a coward. I feel sorry for the other woman and the child too. He's going to make a great husband and father isn't he? Yeah right!

Keep your chin up. You are a good person. Don't let this make you feel any differently. He is the one with the problem. Don't forget to take some time for yourself while going through this and do something special for you to keep your spirits up.

[cinb85]

I've been dating the same guy for 1 1/2 years now and I still haven't introduced him to my daughter.    However, if we were to become serious and get engaged, then I'm sure I would and who knows if he would stick around.  This man should have thought about her children before doing this, but just like my ex, he is only thinking about himself!!!

I also agree with notnew that you should do something special for yourself!  Maybe a weekend trip with the kids or a few days to yourself (to pamper yourself).  I found that just rearranging the furniture made me feel a little better (when he would leave).  It kept me busy so I didn't have time to think about how much he hurt me and because the house would looked different, it wouldn't remind me of him as much and it was a fresh start!

Keep your spirits up.  Things will get better!!!!