Mother Trying to change joint cutody and up support

[Oct8butterfly]

My husband has 2 children with his ex-wife and she has filed for an increase in child support, sole custody and decreased visitaion.  The children are 6 & 8, and both would prefer to live with us.  We had a wonderful lawyer for the divorce who helped with the agreement and we cannot afford to use her again.  My husband became sick 3 months ago and is now recovering which has put us in a financial hardship.  We are not sure which way to turn.  I believe she is lying about the amount of money she makes and she has twins that are 1 1/2 (why they divorced in the 1st place) that don't belong to him and not receiving support from the run away father.  My husband was unable due to a position change to take them to school that Monday on the weekends we had them so the days we missed shortened his time to sole custody for her.  It barely made the 35% mark.  I believe she is jealous and just wants to burden us.  She is not doing it for the children.  She lives with her parents, doesn't pay rent or daycare.  What should we do? how can we keep it at joint custody?  How can we rearrange visitation so we keep those days?  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. WE DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:(

[ocean]

Child support is by the numbers ... Have him bring everything he can that states he was sick. If he is collecting disability or a lower paycheck, bring in paystubs...(it may not go down but make it stay the same). Most states have an on-line calculator. Run the numbers.. Some states count her salary and future kids, some do not.

Visitation- She may be able to get it written on paper the decrease since you have not taken the kids the extra day. Can you bring them to school? Unless it is in the court papers that you (or anyone else) can't bring them to school...find someone and start back up. Do you get them on Fridays? Maybe have his job write a letter that his hours switched and it was mandatory and you want to switch visitation to Fri-Sun night or an extra day after-school?

Sole custody- It is given when parents can not get along. I would just have him document all the school activities, report cards, dr visits that he went to. Show that he is an involved father.

Do you have an hearing set for everything at once? You need to try and get the lawyer if at all possible. Maybe work out a payment plan with them and tell them you just want them to show up at the hearing...that is it...no phone calls to drive up the bill.

Good luck!

[Jade]

>My husband has 2 children with his ex-wife and she has filed
>for an increase in child support, sole custody and decreased
>visitaion.  The children are 6 & 8, and both would prefer to
>live with us.  We had a wonderful lawyer for the divorce who
>helped with the agreement and we cannot afford to use her
>again.  My husband became sick 3 months ago and is now
>recovering which has put us in a financial hardship.  We are
>not sure which way to turn.  I believe she is lying about the
>amount of money she makes and she has twins that are 1 1/2
>(why they divorced in the 1st place) that don't belong to him
>and not receiving support from the run away father.  My
>husband was unable due to a position change to take them to
>school that Monday on the weekends we had them so the days we
>missed shortened his time to sole custody for her.  It barely
>made the 35% mark.  I believe she is jealous and just wants to
>burden us.  She is not doing it for the children.  She lives
>with her parents, doesn't pay rent or daycare.  What should we
>do? how can we keep it at joint custody?  How can we rearrange
>visitation so we keep those days?  Any suggestions would be
>greatly appreciated. WE DON'T KNOW WHAT TO
>DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:(

If his disability is permanent, then he should be able to get the support based on that.

If he isn't taking all of his time, she has a very good argument for a change in the parenting plan.  

It doesn't sound like you have joint physical.  It sounds like you have joint legal and I don't think that a judge will change that without the mother being able to prove that the father is unfit.