sad, confused and fustrated

[rghjr1971]

i'm a new member me and my wife just seperated. she took my daughter to go live at a friends home. i have not seen her for days. i'm very upset, my daughter is my whole life. i know there is no hope left in this marriage but she wont let me see my daughter. what is the next thing i should do? i know i should get a laywer but i have no idea how much something like that costs or what it details. i'm lost and need some advise.

[janM]

Sorry this is happening to you.

Go here: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/articles.php

If it's not mentioned there, close any bank or credit card accounts that you and your wife have jointly. Inventory, using a video camera, anything of value in the home. Gather up any important paperwork and find a safe place for it.
Have you changed the locks on the house?

How long ago did they leave? How old is your daughter? You should know that you have the same rights to your child as mom does, so you have the right to take her, but it could lead to a tug-of-war that is not good for her.

You should consult with an attorney for free or low cost. I hope you can file for a temporary parenting plan.

What state are you in?

I'm sure the other members will have more advice for you.

[rghjr1971]

well they left about a week ago. my daughter is almost 6. i just let my wife pick up some stuff they need. she said she might let me have my daughter for a couple of days but i have not heard back yet. i will change our joint accounts. ihave not changed my locks but i have planned to. i live in north carolina.
thanks i really have no one to talk to about this

[rghjr1971]

do attorneys do free consultations for diveroce and custody cases?

[mistoffolees]

Depends on the situation, but many attorneys give a free initial consultation. You won't accomplish much, but at least they'll give you an idea where you stand.

Depending on what your attorney tells you, you might want to file for custody right away - to prevent BM from leaving the state.

[Davy]

You would be well advised to review/note as many articles on this website as possible.  

Some considerations for you.  

Always FOCUS any and all written/verbal communications on the overall well-being of the child.  The multi-billion dollar industry you are being forced to enter is an adversary system that will cause harm to your child and be financially draining.  For example, when she says "she might let me have my daughter for a couple of days but i have not heard back "  is indicative of a controlling, possessive PBFH (psyco bitch from hell) that is on her way to USING  and otherwise holding out the child as ransom.  Refer to the child as 'our daughter' rather than 'my daughter'.  IT SHOULD BE UNSPEAKABLE to remove a child from her home and the child's parent.

... develope a chronological file documenting request/denials, conversations, any/all court actions, interference from family members and others, etc.  and ALWAYS keep/protect the original/master copy and do not give ta copy of this file to other than a fully committed attorney that you trust and believe (be very careful).

... be aware of false accusations and always cya

... don't just GET an attorney.  Develope an attitude that you are interviewing.  Unless it is entirely customary for attorneys in your area to request a fee for an initial consultation you probably don't even want to waste your time interveiwing that attorney (it is a business).  You should have a plan (ie demand) concerning 'shared' custody(minimum 50%), visitation (if necessary) and try to be reasonable about the amount of financial support the child should receive from her mother.  And other issues ....

... you might be wise to get into court as soon as possibleand demand the child be returned home and otherwise the child not be removed more than 25 miles from your location.

... be absolutely sure that divorce / custody is pending      

... learn COPING SKILLS to maintain yourself ie sleep, relaxation, etc

... seek a father's right group in your area and again be cautious

... others may offer further advise

Let us hear more from you and BEST to your daughter and you.

[joeyqz]

I went through a similar situation, but my daughter was only 2. Find an attorney who is pro-father's rights and will get you 50/50 joint/legal custody, make no other exceptions. You will regret it. At least I have an ENTIRE week EOW with my little girl; anything less and i would've been devastated.

Also, ENSURE that your proposed parenting plan is COMPREHENSIVE, otherwise, you will experience the same disappointment I am now experiencing with my ex and our parenting agreement, despite trying to modify it.  Check out the "parenting kit" offered through SPARC's ads and take it upon yourself to be INFORMED.

Forget about your ex, she has "moved on" in her mind and will villify you at every turn to make you go away, mess up, get you into trouble, etc. And you will lose your daughter.