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will be 18 in two months and wants to live with me??????

Started by DetterD, Dec 17, 2007, 01:37:52 PM

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DetterD

ex has sole custody.....after 5 years of fighting and losing and spending thousands of dollars for lawyers, etc...... because
she is so manipulative, etc.....this is not about her or my status in
custody...

I would like to know if when a child turns 18, and the ex has sole
custody, and he ( might go to college....unsure...).if he has requested
that he live with me.....he would like to now, but I know his Mother
would never agree....
1.  Can a child of 18 whether or not he goes to college have residency
at my home because he will be considered an adult....would he be able
to live with me.....????

Hope this doesn't sound too confusing....just want to know if a child of 18 can live with his Father???
 


Sherry1


DetterD

In our agreement, we both have to pay one half of college, and if he
goes to college, he is not sure if he wants to go to college).... my ex would still get child support because she has
to keep a room for him,,,,but if he is living with me, does anyone know
what would happen there.....

If he has moved out of her house, and going to college....and living with me.....I wonder if I
still would have to pay her child support on him.......

I just can't afford any more lawyers,,,,,and need some advice...
I came here practically everyday during my divorce, guardians, court
appearances, and etc....so looking for somebody who might know
something about this complicated situation.....thanks

mistoffolees

It depends.

If your agreement says that you pay child support as long as he's in college AND living with her, then you are probably clear (although she could still sue you and you'd have to fight it).

OTOH, if it says that you have to pay child support while the child is in college without specifying anything about living location, then you're probably going to have to pay it - unless you choose to fight it (although this should be a fairly easy one to win if the child is living with you full time).

Not a legal opinion, though.

Davy

DetterD...I sugggest you name the state of the CS reward.  State law vary concerning CS and hopefully someone that is current on your state CS policy will offer some sound advice.

From what I remember, most states CS awards stop when child reaches age 18 (ie Tx) while some states state age 21/22 as long as the child was attending college.  Personally, I've never seen a specification regarding maintaining bedroom space.  Also, I would suggest that the agreement concerning college expenses is simply an agreement outside of the CS arena but is somewhat suggestive that CS stops at age 18 otherwise it would probably be spelled out in your custody order.  

Please be mindfull that most state civil and criminal statues consider age 18 to be an adult.  

In my opinion, your son can live wherever he wants iregardless of the college situation.  Note : my kid's mother was also named sole 'managing conservator' by the government.  There were many extentuating circumstances and no problems when their feet did the walking at age 14, 13, and 10.

Most important to most young people at this point in time in their life is to have the encouragement, planning and support for their rational endeavors
 
 It has been my experience  

MixedBag

And honestly, my initial answer to your question is NOT a flat "they can do what they want" at age 18.

Here in Alabama the age is 19 for emancipation.  My oldest graduated at age 17, and turned 18 in August and boy was she in for a surprise when Mom let "her go" but society would not let her sign for an apartment until she turned 19.  The banks would not do anything for her until an adult came in and stuff like that.

Also here in Alabama we deal with college-level support called "majority support".

SO -- my advice would be to let the 18 year old come, and file for custody.

I would lean on the side that your case would be a slam dunk.

And I sugget you do this and go through what might become more trouble because you said there's a college clause in your future IF your child wants to go to college -- BECAUSE that's the important part to get turned around in the future.

DetterD

Thank all of you for your advise.....I am in Massachusetts,,,,,the most
liberal state in the whole of United States, and after numerous court
appearances, mediations, counceling, guardians, and so much money
out the window.....I hesitate to start another 'fight'......
Would just like to have him live with me without the court proceedings,
and having to deal with someone who always wins in MA.....

He asked to stay with me last weekend, and I had to refuse....do you
have any idea what that felt like.....because his mother has legal custody, and never would allow it.....we tried that before.....

I guess I will just have to 'go for it' and see what happens.....
THANKS ALL................

DetterD

Original Message
RE: Yes, at 18 your child can move where ever they want and can do
Thank all of you for your advise.....I am in Massachusetts,,,,,the most
liberal state in the whole of United States, and after numerous court
appearances, mediations, counceling, guardians, and so much money
out the window.....I hesitate to start another 'fight'......
Would just like to have him live with me without the court proceedings,
and having to deal with someone who always wins in MA.....

He asked to stay with me last weekend, and I had to refuse....do you
have any idea what that felt like.....because his mother has legal custody, and never would allow it.....we tried that before.....

I guess I will just have to 'go for it' and see what happens.....
THANKS ALL................