Judge ordered "open door" for ex to come get child anytime

[godaddy]

I recently was accused of contempt of court for supposedly not taking my daughter to her scheduled activities.  I have her Th-Sun.  Her activities have been M, T, W except for occassional pictures, party's on weekends when I did take her.  For many years I have taken her to baseball, dance, gymnastics, etc.  My ex tries everything to get her away from me.  We have joint legal custody.  In the Summer I have her equal time.  Judge ordered, "Well, if father doesn't want to transport her, then let mom come pick her up and take her to activities.  Hello...what do you think ex has done?  Scheduled every single day of my time with activities.  Judge refused to listen to my attorney and then ended it with, "Well, doesn't the 8 year old child have a say so, let the child decide what she wants to do."  That's great.  Put the child right in the middle.  She wants to spend time with both parents and now what?  She tried talking to her mom and telling her that she didn't want to be in so many things, cuz she wanted to spend time and do fun things with daddy as well.  Ex actually yelled at child at changed subject.  Do I not have any rights as her father.  Am I supposed to sit here and wait for her to show up everyday.  I cannot believe this happened.  Please advice anyone.  We have tried to work with family court commissioner but my ex has to have it her way or no way.  Please help.:(