money hungry ex

[kimwri0123]

my ex and i have joint custody with no child support in arkansas. for the past two years the kids were with me half the time (if not more).  well now i think she is planning to take me to court for child support. we have one child that is still in daycare in which we agreed to split 50/50. that worked for a short time, now she says she cant pay, so in order to keep childcare i have been paying the full amount.  even though there is no child support ordered i generally end up giving her anywhere from $500-$900 per month, PLUS childcare.  i've been trying to help her maintain a stable life for my kids, but it is never enough. i cant seem to get ahead, i also have to provide a home and necessaties as well.  but the further in the hole i get i realize, that no matter what bills she needs paid (phone, rent, electric, etc) it will never be enough. if i ever tell her i dont have the funds to help right now, she threatens to take me back to court and get cs ordered.  so i started giving her $115 a week, but she still comes to me for extras like rent and such.  she does not work. has a live in boyfriend and still gets monthly shut off notices, until i bail her out.  

what are the chances that she could go back to court and prove that cs should be established? I already pay her bills, and still have kiddos half the time.  she just informed my 12 yr old daughter that i am not her biological dad, and planned a meeting w/child and real father, who has never seen her, without my knowledge, AND awaiting results of a paternity test, for guess what, CHILD SUPPORT. he is military so i know he will be obligated to pay support.

this girl is not happy unless i am tits up. is is possible that a judge will see that she cannot support herself much less our kiddos and give me physical custody. if so then i will save the money i keep giving her and retain an attorney for a good cause, to place my children in a secure and stable environment.

[Giggles]

STOP PAYING HER!!!

DO NOT pay her one single dime unless you are COURT ORDERED!!!  If she takes you to court, your 50/50 status will keep CS fairly low.  You may want to find if your state has a CS calculator to see what possibly you might pay.  Then start putting that amount aside in a seperate account...that way if she does get an order, you're not in arrears.

I think you should get an attorney especially with the whole ordeal of your 12 y/o...that's just wrong!!

The most important thing you need to start doing now is documenting everything!!!

[Sherry1]

required to pay CS.  The daycare would also be split based upon your incomes.  If you make considerably more then her, your percentage will be higher

I hope that answers the question.  

[boilergal]

My X and I have 50/50.  I make more than my son's dad.  I pay daycare and carry insurance and no CS changes hands because I pay those extra amounts.  All co-pays are split 50/50.  

Realistically, based on the numbers since I pay daycare and insurance, XH should pay be about $75 a month but we mediated our settlement and agreed to no $ exchanged.  And because it was such a small deviation from the guidelines, the court accepted it.

But if you make more, expect to either pay more of the expenses (healthcare, daycare) and/or also pay CS depending on the situation even with 50/50.

[lilywhite]

I wonder how you managed to get a divorce with no child support order?   Also why is one child in daycare if she doesn't work?

Anyway, there's no reason to guess what it would be.  Arkansas has their child support guidelines on the net.

http://courts.arkansas.gov/aoc/acs_guidelines.cfm

Their guidelines assume that one of you is the custodial parent.  The noncustodial parent pays a percentage based on his/her income.  The custodial parent's income is not considered.

There are add-ons for child care.  

So, check it out and see where you land as custodial parent (with her making minimum wage) and then as noncustodial parent