What to do?

[lissa68]

 

Here is the scenario.

Ex-wife threatens myself and child. Says that getting rid of child and myself is her only option left to get me out of her new life.

I take these threats, and go to file a emergency TRO, judge denies it, in less than 5 minutes. I then take these threats and try to file in the sheriffs office. They tell me its civil.


After all this has been done, I finally after 2 days get to speak to my child. She tells me that I don't want to see her anymore, when I try, I am denied visitation. She tells me its not her mommy's fault I can't see her. I did not tell her that my ex denies visitation.


1. So, what do I do? What are my options?

2. This is definitly leading into PAS.

3. Can I ask the school to intervene and request a pyschologist interview my child?


Thanks

Lissa 68(Husband)

Melissa(lissa68)

 

[anastasia]

In regards to PAS, probably.  But as bad as it is and cruel as it sounds, our system looks most of this cases as mere fights between the parents, having for price the child.  

In regards to school, they are just going to see how is the child doing and her performance.  They deal with this situations everyday, but they just see it as a fight between both parents.  You can try though. Talk to the socail worker about the threats and your concern about your child well being.

Do you have visitation agreement?  If not, I'd recommend that you get one as soon as possible.  So far is the only tool that you can use to try to make this mother let you see your child.  Do you have joint custody? How old is the child?  In what state are you (if I can ask)?

You can request a psychologist, but usually, unless there's a court order saying that she has to see one, the mother is not going to take her or allow you to do it.

Good luck my friend.  Beleive me, there are a lot of parents and children going through your same situation, like us, and still the system fails to make the right decision.

God bless you and have a good day.

[lissa68]

Yes, we have a visitation agreement.  I have joint legal and EOW, and holidays.  My daughter is 5, gpoing to be 6 in January, and we are all in Iowa.

Lissa68(Husband)

[TGB]

[a href=http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips1.htm" target="new]Document! Document! Document!!![/a]

See [A HREF=http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm" target="new]Tips For Getting Started[/A].

[anastasia]

It would be great if you read the family laws first, in order to have a great view of the picture and all the problems that you'll find and how to fight them.  Believe me, custody fights aren't easy and are borderline painful for the kids.  

Document everything, so when you go to court, if you have to, you could have some weapons.

Go to mediation, most of the states provides with this service.  They would contact the mother (since you are the one requesting it) and you can talk about all this issues in front of mediator, he/she will make some recommendations to court , and they will be granted at discretion of the judge.  You can also file pro-se to enforce the visitation agreement.  

I know some times is impossible, but try to talk to the mother about your agreement, if her feedback is like most of the mothers (yelling, calling you names, telling you that there's no court over this world that forces you, bla, bla, bla...) write her a letter, with returned receipt, mentioning your conversation with her.  Be polite and calm in this letters, remember that you have to seek the "best interest of the child".

If you can call your child from a cell phone (it could be exdpensive, I know), that will be great, because you have proof that you have made the effort to call the kid.

And as TGB said... "DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT"...

And educate your-self in regards to family codes and orders... your worst enemy is the ignorance (please don't take me wrong)

GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

"If you only see your misery, you will be miserable the rest of your life".