A child's life about to be turned upside down....

[MYSONSDAD]

You mention sports, school, church and daycare. I would be working on some affadavits from them showing how well adjusted the child is. I would also get medical records from the doctor showing his medical needs are met. I would also talk with school counsels and anyone else that will give you all positive feed back. You might want them in court to testify. Also the parents of this child's friends might come in handy.

This makes me totally sick!

To get the drug thing off, how about a hair drug test? That will go back for quite some time. Do it voluntarily.

My prayers are with you, keep us updated...

[Amy]

Does the court have to give us a continuance if we get a new lawyer and explain why?  Or can they say we have to stick to the same dates?  We got this lawyer through a friend that used him and never thought twice about it.  Until now... it sounds as though we've been in the dark for way too long.

[MYSONSDAD]

When I got my RO and had to appear in court, 10 days notice, I did not have my lawyer present. I informed the Judge my legal counsel had a previous court appearance and asked for a continuance. It was granted. The judge was great and asked a lot of questions and he defended my rights to have legal counsel there to represent me. I loved it when he pointed his finger at my ex and her attorney and told them both that I also had rights and they will have to respect that.

I would post to Soc and get an expert opinion on this. What worked for me, may not work for you.

[charm910]

Is Mom paying support for any/all these kids? Maybe this has something to do with the sudden change of attitude.

Does Mom have a new boyfriend? If so find out anything about him, even runs checks off the computer for each of them, try local newspapers for any articles with their name, get your wits about you and stop trying to be the nice guy.

Your son also needs to come clean with the attorney if he has ANY skeletons in his closet, even if they are old.

Best of luck to all involved.

[JenG99]

 Maybe the child is idealizing Mom and villanizing Dad because Dad has to be the authority figure,discipline and such. My skids did this when their Mom abandoned them. She dumped them for a man and basically treats them like distant relatives.They thought she was wonderful and always bragged about how great she was until they hit age 10 and 11.

For three years they though she was GODS gift even though she rarely called them and showed no interest in their lives. The 7 year old still thinks she is wonderful even though she does nothing for them and only see's them once a year. I honestly believe this has to do with her age as with your SO's son's age. Children don't have the capacity at age 7-8 to except abandonment by a parent especially a Mother. I have been raising all of them for five years and I can count on one hand how many "things" their mother has done for them.

 Is there a possibility that this child is playing both sides against the middle or he has developed an obsession with the Mother? Maybe the child is spoiled or angry and he saying things to the GAL? I am assuming the GAL has interviewed the child.

Please keep us updated.

[john15666]

well let me inform you first that anyone can go into court and lie though thier teeth, iam involed in a ver sticky situation and its been very very frustating , your right about you have the profe of that they are lies, i have been fighting for months about lies it just get worse all the time a lie on top of a lie on top of a lie, and every lie i have documented profe everytime to show it is a lie. but yet i can not tell the court anything at anytime i am never alowed to speak and tell my side, its been a eye opening expreance for me but i have only learned to well why things like this happens. i not sure how yours is but i will tell you mine, i have been though 3 lawyers and caused to lose over 1/4 mill on just her lawyer lieing and loss most important of all my 3 year old daughter, well i still get to see her on a very very limmited time. well i have now steped back to see what was going on, let me tell you its called politics, and who knows who and who takes care of who, i have learned only to well how the courts really work. you must really look at things and wonder why you are not allowed to tell the truth, why because the courts do not care they are all worried about nothing but them selfs, and best of all you cant even change the judge , they have a sytem that covers the lawyers and the judges that they can do anything they want, yes we do have recouses , but this is after the fact and in the mean time the child suffers, i know your probaly very very  frustated as i am going thur this for over one year now, let me tell the facts learn how your court is working and i do mean do what ever it takes to find out do not ever acuse the judge of anything or her lawyer do it discretly and by all means see how it plays out . then they might have won the battle but they have just called for war so after the fact you go fight your war ond try very hard to do this. start setting things up now for the affter afect, and i know its frustrating and no one cares but really you do have a after and this is where you will show the prove of lies and how they are covered up. sont want to go on all day ,but really learn now that our courts work off polictail ganes why do you think their are guys out there tring to get judges elected whos paying these guys or what do they get all in the politic of the game. so really good luck to you as i know i will be in a battle for years, maybe it might sound wierd but i will do what it takes to prove that i will not go before a court and my cilvil rights be taken away and just say oh well, i might not get my daughter now but in the long term she knows where and who she wants to be with, mine also includes abbuse by her mother, and i am told well that happens, well mine hit my 2 year old in the head so hard her eyes almost poped out fo dropping food from dinner on the floor one tiny piece, and instead of getting her in troube i tried every aveune to get her help but it all got turned around some how and how i think i have told you, all i know is if that would have been me doing this to my x i would be in county jail for a very long time but i guess the courts say that a mother can do anything they want ot a child and its ok, but a father can do nothing, but thats the way things work and its called polical favortism , i hope by all means i wish you luck. and please do your self a favor and learn how the courts really work, and make sure you document words and why your not able to talk or do anything. well maybe you have to get someone that is more conected with the judge but that is what your own morrals call for. as with mine if i wanted polical favors i would make heads turn, but this is something i do not belive in and refuse to do such i do belive some day we will have a court that is not made up of politics. so good luck to you and belive me i understand how frustaing things are but take a step back and look at the bigger picture and then do it again and agian and you will start seeing a pattern of things....good luck   john

[janM]

I would try to get that GAL report thrown out and/or another one assigned to the case. Research your state's statutes for determining a basis for a change of custody. I'm pretty sure most require a "change of circumstances" in the CHILD"S life, not in Mom's. Nothing has changed in his life since he has been with you. I agree that if Mom has improved her life, she should have supervised visits initially to get reaquainted with him, not his dad. A good lawyer should be able to argue that point if there is no reason for dad to be supervised. There is every reason for Mom to be, including that she could be a flight risk.

If you do seek a new lawyer and ask for a continuance, it will be in your favor because it will be that much longer that the child is with dad, and the stronger the argument for "status quo".

Read all the articles in our articles archive and the state links.

Please keep us posted and good luck.

[KAT]

Anyone do a background check on biomom? If not, I HIGHLY suggest it.

KAT

[msme]

One thing no one has mentioned, is that your new lawyer MUST be a Board Certified Family Law & Custody Specialist.

Also, get the child into counseling & ask his counselor to testify & to ask the court to order reunification counseling, followed by supervised visitation, only when the counselor feels the child is ready for it.

Good luck & God bless.

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