HELP ME AND MY KIDS :(

[momoftwinz]

To start off background  
My husband of 9 years left in August 2003 and moved 90 miles away and moved in with his girlfreind. We have 8 year old twin boys. He has seen the children every other weekend since then and I have gotten a total of about 500.00 in child support from him. I also have been struggling financially due to my wages being garnished (636.00) a month for a car loan he took out and I co signed on but was never allowed to drive. He no longer has the vehicle he took it back to the bacnk and there still is 13,000 owed on it. I have pursued that with the sherrif and the attorney whi handles the garnishment and they will not work with me- they are getting their money so they are satisfied and requested I pursue the issue in my divorce...ughhh
Anyway my husband is unreliable and is unemployed and has difficulty KEEPING a job. I cant tell you how many W2's he has each year - I think he must collect them I dont know. But anyway the turn of events happened last week when CHILD SUPPORT finally is being demanded and we have court on Tuesday 2/10. He immediately went and got him self a lawyer to fight to obtain custody and get child support from ME. His motivation is $$$ not the kids. BUT he is saying I am a unfit mother. Which is ridiculous. BUT scary none the less. So now I am entering into a custody evalutaion and it will be another 4 months before that is completed. I talked to my lawyer this morning and asked what our game plan is and I want to be aggressive. He said that at this point not much can be done we have to just go through the process. That the judge will see that he is a dead beat dad and will not pull the kids away from me to send them to him- he has no job and cannot provide for them. But still I am terrified that there will be a loophole somewhere. Advice anyone??? I never thought this would happen.
Thanks

momoftwinz

[patton]

You are doing YOUR part in letting him have visistation with the children.

He's the one that is not living up to his obligations of supporting the children.  The Judge will definately see this.

You might suggest to your attorney that discovery of ALL his W2's might show Judge also how unreliable he is in keeping a job.

Why are you NOT already divorced from this person?  Do you have any temporary orders?

Unfortunately you did co-sign and I don't know how you get out of that.

As for him asking for custody with what you have stated above he's just blowing smoke.  Wonder who's paying for his attorney?

[momoftwinz]

Why am I not already divorced -good question.

He was served papers on 10/11 first court appearance was 12/10 and now a temporary hearing on 2/10.
He qualified for legal aid (FREE LAWYER)  because he has been unemployed since May 2003 apparently there are no jobs in Hinckley?? (Isnt there a casino there??)

Question -

You said "You are doing YOUR part in letting him have visistation with the children."

confused - are you saying I shouldnt be?

Thanks - and I already have made copies of the W2's and bring those with next week to the temporary releif hearing

[Kitty C.]

The LAST thing you want to do is deny him the children.  Support and visitation are two TOTALLY different issues and you cannot use one against the other.

At this temp. hearing you need to have temp. custody put in place also.  As it stands right now, you BOTH have the legal right to equal access to the kids anytime.  Seting up temp. custody puts parameters that the parents MUST work with.

[lucky]

.

[joni]

...the judge will see the forest for the trees.  Good advice on the prior post, bring those W-2's and ALL documentation to any court hearing.  Your words will carry more weight with evidence.

Keep being the bigger person and stick with the current parenting plan and any court orders in place.  Don't give your EX anything ammunition.

Good Luck!

[reagantrooper]

Not much to offer on the CS or the Kids other than good luck!

On the car payment, you can just have your employer stop taking it out of your check. The bank CANNOT garnish your pay in any way shape or form. Only the court , state or feds can do that. What does your ATTY say about this "garnishment" ?

[snaab93]

Also garnishment is a two way street.  One cannot garnish wages without a court order, etc.  Besides, your the co-signer, Correct?  Why aren't they garnishing his wages as well when he is employed.  Technically he's the first to be responsible.  A co-signer is technically a backing or support to the first signature.  If your garnished, make sure garnishments are also coming from him.  

When your hearing for divorce arises, bring this up as well.  Bring receipts of exactly how much is coming out of your check and that neither one of you have the vehicle. Also have your lawyer write in that the two of you either share the cost of the vehicle or make him pay for it.  Being unstable in employment as he is, the judge will truly see his colors.   Contact the bank where the loan took place.  If the vehicle was returned, they usually have a silent bid on the vehicle therefore you only pay the difference.  Make sure it isn't one of the bank's offsprings, employees, family members of the board, etc who gets the vehicle drastically lower than what its worth.  This has happened to me and my EX.  We had a vehicle that was returned and it was worth $10,000.00 but the bank's Presidents son got it for $1400.00.  Guess who still got stuck with the rest.  

Above all, be aggressive and pursue every detail as though it was life or death.  Family courts move at a snail's pace and sometimes need to be reminded why they sit on the bench.  Lawyer's included.  Be proactive.  Not passive.

Good luck.