Terms to use in front of a judge

[nate]

Hello,


                    My name is Nate and I have a 7yr old daughter whom I've
been going  to court for for the past six years.  I have a court date at the end of next month to get more visitation rights.  But this time I'm asking for sole physical custody. I thought I would take this approach therefore increasing my chance of gaining more visitation. I have a brand new home, a wife, and no other children.  My daughters mother has 4 other children, plus my daughter who is second to the oldest living in a 3 bedroom apt.  She is not married and the childrens school is on the opposite side of town.  We can see first of all what kind of attention, love, space, and privacy my daughter is competing for. What I'm looking for are a few things legally to say either to the mediator and/or judge to persuade them to really take a look at the whole picture and see what is in the best interest of our daughter is for her to live with her father.  Please note that her mother has no time to do any extra-curricular activities with my daughter do to the fact that there are four other children involved.


                                      Thank You

                                           Nate

[Peanutsdad]

Well Nate,

I can tell you a term NOT to use in front of the judge. My ex yelled out,, "yer honor,, he's fullashit!!!"

It didnt go over well.

[MixedBag]

If you petitioned the court to get more parenting (vistation) time with your child, you can't ask the judge to change custody through the "back door" once you are in the court room.

You have to petition the court to change custody inthe first place because what the court will look at is totally different.

[tulip]

If the amount of time you are spending with your daughter is very little, you're not likely to get custody changed unless you can prove she is in danger. I suggest you start by asking your daughter what type of activities she would like to be in, and offer to bring her to them yourself, since mom doesn't have time to.
Also, I don't think the fact that she has brothers and sisters at mom's and not at your house is in your favor. You are talking about separating a whole family. Is there some reason why she doesn't want to live her brothers and sisters?

[kiddosmom]

What is the mother doing to rate losing custody?
Does she work?
Does she try to keep you from your child on your co visitaion??

i saw nothing in your post other then you want some more visitaion.
my mother had 5 children, guess what, we didn't have to fight for her love, she gave it equally with all her heart.

[Indigo Mom]

Well, hot damn!  You better race on down to the courthouse and petition to sever her rights!  And then!  Call social services...what a crooked wench she is! How dare she have 5 children!

You're kidding, aren't you?  

[kiddosmom]

lol, no she had 5 children :) my grandmother had 11. I was smart and stopped at 2 :)
of course now we have peanut though.
She was also carring for our grandmother, going through nursing school and working full time. and NO daddy around.

So please original poster tell me something other then your reasons here is why you are seeking custody.

[nate]

Hello,



                                   What made me go this route is that I'm tired of having to keep going back and back to court fighting to get more visitation.  Every time I go to court it seems that they want me to prove to them that I'm responsible enough to take care of my child. We'll i've been through parenting classes, bought a Brand New House, been with my job for five years, got married to the woman I love, while she's sitting back collecting child support, having more babies and not trying to improve her life. I believe she should be trying to do more for our daughter but she can't do it because of her busy schedule.  I'm just looking for a few key things to say to a judge that I know a lawyer would say to defend my case.  I have petitioned the court for sole physical custody of my daughter...not sure what you mean by "the back door" but it seems that the courts usually side with the mother although the other parent may be able to provide more for the child in the long run.  They always use the term "in the best interest of the child" but don't they really mean "in the best interest of the mother"????



                                              Thanks Nate

[MixedBag]

In your first post you say you have a court date to get more visitation.

In your second post you say you have petitioned the court for custody.

Pal, which did you do?  (or did you do both?)

For either situation, you'll have to show the court that there has been a "significant change in circumstances" and then WHY more time or a change of custody is in the best interest of the child.

VERY DIFFICULT THING TO DO.

BTDT.

I went took my EX to court back in 2002 for a "Change of Custody or in the Alternative Additional Parenting Time"....  

I had to hava a "significant change in circumstances" to do this -- the judge decided that my Retirement from the Air Force WAS.  (Step 1).

Then I had to PROVE it was in my son's best interest to live with me or to have MORE time with me, and I failed.

Due to my retirement, and subsequent self-employment -- I am at home on average 27 out of 30 days a month.  AT HOME!

We have a 5 bedroom house/3 baths that's finished.  EX has a 3-bedroom house/2 baths that's -- well, I'll leave it at that.  My son would have a private bedroom with me.  At the EX's he shared either with his fake-step-brother 10 years older, or half-brother 5 years younger.

Materialistically, I can provide the better home and WOULD provide the better home.  My EX's finances are with a credit management agency.  Mine are fine.  

BUT my son is doing well in school.  End of story.  Judge did not find even a REASON to increase my time with my son -- like hey, I'm AT HOME during the entire summer vacation to be WITH my son.

I don't have anything CLOSE to 50/50 right now -- long distance NCP.

Get it?

And yes the courts are biased in favor of the mothers -- but in what you read now, realize, I'm the MOM.

[Davy]

Nate...with a few exceptions ... you have pretty much answered your own question but don't give up hope.

In presentation and all communication it is often best to use the term 'our daughter' rather than 'my daughter'.  It is always best to focus on the well-being of the child without using negatives directed toward a BM as much as possible.  Normally, a single female, a CP BM in your case, can say and do practically anything they want with out any accountability whatsoever so the focus is on their well-being rather than on the child(ren).  

There is plenty of information available on this site and elsewhere outlining why children are better served the more 'the government' allows both parents to participate in the child's life.  Perhaps that info. will help if it has'nt already.  Never give-up !!