Grandparents wanting same rights as a parent??

[patton]

A little background first.  My cousin got emergency sole temporary custody last April 2003.  The mother of the child was in jail and charged with kidnapping and possession of cocaine along with her current druggie boyfriend.  The charges on the mother were dropped to endangerment to a child.

The child she kidnapped and her child showed traces of cocaine in their systems.  The boyfriend is still awaiting trial.  The mother nor the grandparents EVER call the father, my cousin, to let him know what going on, he find out by way of the newspaper all this stuff.  The mother and child have always lived with the grandparents at their home.

So the Judge that day gave my cousin sole temporary custody, with the grandparents wanting the Judge to give custody to them.  BUT the Judge did give them FULL visitation just like they were the other parent.  Supposed since the child had always lived with her mother there.  Anybody else ever had this problem?  Solution?

This has been going on for almost a year, the temporary order.  Yesterday they went to mediation.  Before they went my cousin's attorney said their attorney had already told her they weren't agreeing to anything.  My cousin was not very impressed with the mediator, as it seemed the mediator were like " of this is great the grandparents supporting their poor little daughter who lost custody."

My cousin and his wife had a VERY good four-phase parenting plan to work the mother back into the child's life.  The mother per the court order and Child Protective Services is NOT supposed to be in any physical contact with the child.  But she lives there with the grandparents.  So you know that's not happening.  Actually my cousin has seen the mother hiding in the backseat of her mother's vehicle when she picks up the child.

Any suggestions on how to go about this?  My cousin's attorney has told them, let's put this on the back burner and stall as long as possible.  For as long as he has custody, the child is establishing routine, school, friends, a social life, contact with a sibling, etc.

Can you actually see the Judge taking this child from the father and letting the grandparents/mother have her back?

Oh, and another thing, the mother/grandparents attorney also tried some scare tactics tellling my cousin it's going to cost you 30,000-40,000 and you're going to lose anyway, why not just sign over conservatorship now?  

Their attorney is very reasonable and not charging them an outlandlish amount; evidently like the grandparents are paying.

Thoughts or ideas are appreciated and I will pass them along to my cousin.

[NoNicky]

All I can do at this point is sympathsize with you.  The laws are supposed to be clear and it varies by state.  But for the most part the laws state that grandparents do not have rights.  

All that being said, in this state where grandparents do not have rights, the bio mom's parents currently have temp custody while the bm sits in prison.  They got them because she managed to hide the child long enough and now we are fighting that same type of "but the child needs those loving grandparents" crap.  

I will say that the $30,000 - $40,000 estimate may be a lowball.  We're past $30,000 already and still not near a resolution.  We do believe we will prevail in the end though.  I would advise you NOT to sign over conservatorship.  If you do the very fact that you did so can and will be used against you later.  It has gotten to be a joke practically here.  I will say, "I'm sorry I can't comment on that because anything I say can and will be used against us in a court of law."

Hang in there.  This past Monday we finally got an independent psychologist appointed to review the situation and won eow until the end of this nightmare.

If you ever need an ear, just e-mail me.  I can listen at least.