help

[phoenix]

ok here goes. when i got to the site it said if you're new put up a post and they would help you find what you need.

here is what's going on. my boyfriend has 2 girls. his x has custody. this oct it will be 4 yrs since he has seen, visited or spoken with his girls. she has blantly violated the visitation order even moving out of state once. she never gives her address or #. that's bad enough.

now her husband after my boyfriend, we'll call him 2nd, has contacted us. 2nd and his family tell us that she beats the girls and his son. she stays up all night playing games and sleeps all day. he got them up and ready for school. now that he is not with her there is no telling what is happening. 2nd said she beat the youngest girl for 15 minutes for erasing the game stored on the memory chip. he finally stopped her. 2nd told us she had him try to disrupt the visits back when they were first ordered. she is telling the girls awful lies (that he hurt her and will hurt them) a lie. she screams at them, she blows the child support she gets and doesn't use it on the kids. recently a friend came to 2nd & told him that he bought pot from the guy that the mother is now living with(note that she and 2nd aren't divorced and do not have a serperation agreement)(wonderful enviroment for a 10 and 7 year old huh?) from what and and his family say she is verbally abusive to them and physically. that doesn't count what she is doing to them mentally and emotionally with all the junk she is telling them about their dad and in keeping them away from him.

DEEP BREATH (note: i've done some research on-line) ok what we would like to do is do an ex parte and tell the magistrate what we, 2nd, family and all, know and ask that they give dad custody. he wants a lawyer to do it and we have no money. baring the ex parte, then a show cause hearing where they make her explain why she has violated the court order (contempt of court) and to force her to alow the visitation and contact with the dad. he also wants a lawyer for that and again no money. we're working on that part-the money. i believe the show cause could be done without a lawyer but he got the screws put to him so badly in the divorce custody and child support that he is petrified (actually that's not strong enough a word). i think the ex parte could be done without a lawyer too. i may be able to convince him to do the show cause without the lawyer. we'll see i hope so. i do not want it to reach the 4 yr mark in oct.

got any ideas, advise, stories from where you've been through this, or done ex parte or show cause/contempt?!!! hopefully thanks ang

[Peanutsdad]

Ok,,


How many DOCUMENTED  visitation denials does he have? By that, I mean, police reports filed out. Saying he hasnt had visitation in 4 yrs and PROVING he didnt just ignore the kids for 4 yrs are two entirely different things.

Now, before you go off on me,, listen up for just a moment,,, he files on his contempt issues, she counterfiles that he is filing false motions based on him not contacting the children.

Count on her tale in court to go along that line.


If you have no experience fighting in family court as a pro se,,,,I absolutely do NOT recommend it.

Regardless of what shes telling the children, does he have records of attempted visitation, calls, letters written?

One other thing,, it would help you somewhat if number 2 would agree to testify for you. The reason I say somewhat,, is due to their own impending divorce,,the courts may view his testimony as biased.



Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm


One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.

[phoenix]

ok i don't go off. as for documented   he didn't know. until he and i got together he had no idea that he could do that. i have a paralegal degree. i told him about the order and showed him the phrase that says the police have the right to enforce. he has no police reports. what we do have is the 2nd and his family that will testify that she moved to stop the visits that she didn't give # and address and tried to start fights and all the things she has said to the girls about their dad, and his dad that drove him several times to try to see them. and i am having him write every time that he can remember that he tried to cantact them or see them and what happened.

 as for the 2nd only possibly helping the 1 lawyer we could afford to see 1 time said that it would help. he isn't divorcing her for fault eventhough she is living with someone else when they are not legally seperated. he found out he was dying. that is why he left and why he contacted the daddy(my guy) because he said the girls needed their daddy and he was sorry for the part he had in keeping them away he was trying to keep his family together. he and his family constantly told the girls that 2nd wasn't their daddy eventhough mom had them call him such. she has them call the new guy that too.

as for pro se.... we don't want to but if we have to. the ex parte is only a magastrite. that's not as bad. we have a lead we are looking into just pray and thanks for all the links and advise. I will read it all and print it to file in the notebook that i am keeping.

[Peanutsdad]

Damn,, a dying mans testimony,, not to sound calloused,, but that lends more weight.


Good luck and keep us posted,, if you run into different scenerios,, come back and post. It's almost a sure bet someone here has had the same and might be able to advise you on it.