Court Update and Evaluation question.

[Yngsmommy]

OK.

Evaluation was done from April to June of 2002.  DF was found to be a bit controlling and was told to get a job (he was unemployed) working normal hours (prior he worked the graveyard), and to put the kids in some sort of daycare.

SD was then 4, and SS was 2.

The only other worry was that DF and I were not in it for the 'long term' and when I left the kids would be devastated as they were extremly attached to me.

Concerns regarding BM were:
She got preggie by having unprotected sex (and admitted)
She had no job.
She had no stability (mentally or emotionally)
She had no "routine" and her whole life was about to be upset by her having a child when she didnt even know if she was going to stay with the father.

BM was suggested to get her "life in order", and seek therapy.

I know sounds wonderful... but the end of that statement was "After BM has gotten her life in order she may want to file for full custody."

BM supposdly has seen said therapist, however he is now refusing to testify...so BM has asked the judge to go back to mediation and possibly do a new evaluation..or at least update the last one.

Where as DF has gotten a job which he has held for the last 2 years, and SS is attending the same pre-school for the last 2 years.  We moved in together in August after the evaluation (we told evaluator we were planning this), and have been living there ever since. SD attends a local magnet and is doing very well in kidnergarten.  Also in December of last year DF asked me to marry him! Wedding is October of next year (we are both big planners).

Our concerns are although BM is STILL very unastable (moved 10 times in the last 2 years), got married without skids being there only 6 months after evaluation to new babies father, has no job, doesnt pay child support, etc. In fact in June of this year her liscense will be suspended for non payment.

BM (like most people with severe emotional problems) is very able to fake it, especially for shorter amounts of time.  SO we are worried she will fake it and come out on top.

The nice part is the judge has ordered BM to pay for the evaluation within 15 days of mediation, or we go back to court for the trial.

We would like to bring up in mediation if we DO an evaluation update, we would like BM's new husband as well as her 4 roomates to be evaluated.  She is asking for 100% custody or at least 50/50 and these are all people BM would want the children living with.

Living with the kids on our side we would both be re-evaluated, and we would obviously offer for the kids therapists, doctor's and teachers to be contacted. BM has never contacted any of these people despite having been given the data to her lawyer by our lawyer several times.

BM also refuses all contact with DF regarding the children...which was a major no no in the evaluation.

WHat are the chances of us getting her roomates and new husband evaluated.  We think if we got this approved BM would back off since she cant afford that.

[wendl]

well I know when my neighbor was going thru a custody battle with his ex girlfriend (he had their son for over 3yrs) his current live in girlfriend had to be evaluated as well as dad (the cp parent) along with random UA's for all parties involved or living in the household the child would visit and reside in.

Also why didnt your atty supeana a report from bms therapist??

Keep documenting

[Brent]

I know sounds wonderful... but the end of that statement was "After BM has gotten her life in order she may want to file for full custody."

Yes, but what's the chance this will actually happen? Most people don't suddenly straighten up and start living a clean, stable, productive life if they haven't been able to manage that before.

[Yngsmommy]

The therapist stated "I kept NO notes whatsoever of my meetings with BM"

Nice huh?  And apparently against his oath as a marriage family counselor.... Our lawyer looked up the regulations in an attempt to get his witness to be stricken..but he never even showed.

[Yngsmommy]

That is very true...however this has been the ONE string that BM has been holding onto.  She and her lawyer keep telling people "it was one bad day"

In reality it has been 3 years of her not spending any time extra time with kids (even when offered or invited to school activities) and for the first 18 months it was weekly suicide calls... which ended is us picking up the kids early a few times.

She really is going on the "I am all better now"..For the most part it is our word against hers, especially since we refuse to bring the kids in to testify against her... (she constantly asks about us, tells them we are monsters, not to listen, that DF isnt their real father...) etc.

SO in a hesaid /she said world we are looking for as much proof as possible that she is lying. ANd 5 people with 5 different stories would be great.