Custodial parents wants to move. Can I stop her?

[shrlck]

I live in Texas and my ex wants to move she and the children from the Dallas area to Austin. Her husband lost his job recently and only looked for work in the Austin area. She has friends there and has always wanted to live there, so that's the only place he looked for work. He doesn't have any children of his own, so relocating is not a problem for him.

I am VERY involved in my kids lives and don't want to only see them on holidays and in the summer. Driving 3 hours down there, back and down there and back again everyother weekend is an option, and I'm willing to do it, but I'd rather they not move at all.

Ex is one of those mothers who can't really be bothered with mothering. She does the minimum and that's about it. Oldest wants to stay with me (he's 13 1/2) but youngest (10 1/2) wants to go with mom. I'm concerned about the youngest because she has some medical problems and if we don't keep on top of mom then she lets the problems get bad. We're afraid of what might happen to youngest.

Has anyone ever been able to stop a custodial parent from moving?

[Kitty C.]

Yes, you can, by filing a resraining order prohibitting her from taking the children out of the current jurisdiction.  It does NOT stop her from leaving, only the children.

Questions, tho.  What kind of medical problems does your youngest have?  If medication/treatment are not taken care of (as you ellude the BM does), could it become life-threatening to your child?  And have you done the bulk of medical care for her, like YOU are the one who takes her to the doctor, gets her meds, helps her with treatment, and prove it via medical records, etc.?  These are important issues that will back up your request that the kids not leave and your involvement wiht them that surpasses the BM.

One thing to remember with drugs used in life-threatening illnesses (ie. asthma), withholding them can be considered criminal neglect.  

[shrlck]

Thank you soooo much for the response.

Mom buys meds and takes her to the doctor, but is really bad about giving meds to her or getting refills unless we say something about it. Also, youngest has a weight problem (4'8 109lbs). We can only do so much at our house and have preached and preached and preached at mom about needing to change what she feeds youngest. Mom will make a few changes for a very short time then go back to old ways. Finally dr's office ordered blood test and found out youngest is borderline diabetic and cholesterol is out of control. We took her to our own doctor and this was confirmed.

We talked to mom over and over and over about youngest's problems and again, she can't be bothered with it. Youngest is supposed to be taking one med right now as a matter of fact, and mom let refill run out. We are checking with dr's office to get refill for her. She spent a week in the hospital in November because mom didn't get RX filled for asthma meds.

The thought of them leaving me is terrifying.

[Kitty C.]

There's your basis, the diabetes and asthma.  If you don't have them, get copies of the med. records from BM's doc, plus the second opinion you got from your doc.  Also, get copies of refill info from the pharmacy, to prove that she doesn't get them filled.  Withholding these meds, plus documentation from a physician of what she needs to do and has failed to is the proof that you need that she's being negligent.

If your dau. carries an inhaler, or is supposed to but BM fails to get it refilled, that CAN be considered withholding life-threatening meds. Many kids die from asthma or asthma-related illnesses every year, even when med-compliant, so this is a VERY serious issue.

First, get the RO, and have it based on the fact that the BM fails to look after the child's health based on the proof in the records.  This could very well turn into a reversal of custody, but beware that BM will all of a sudden appear the doting mother by doing what she's supposed to be doing.  But if you've got enough data from the records to prove a 'track record' on here, all it will do is make her look like she's trying to make herself look good for the court.  

If you don't have an atty., I strongly suggest you get one.  If the move is coming up shortly, you must do this NOW.  Because once you let her leave with them, you're screwed.  And it's obvious by what you've posted that your children's lives are depending on you for this!

[shrlck]

Before we took her to our own doctor, i got her medical records from her pedi so new doc could see them. So, that's one less thing i'll have to do.

The move is supposed to take place in about 5 months which isn't much time. I'm going to consult an attorney right away.

Thank you again! :-)

[Peanutsdad]

If you dont already have a good attrny,, I can recommend one in Dallas.


B.J. Thompson 972-726-0535


She is awesome. I started my case with the mother denying me even seeing my then 12 month old daughter,,,by the time she was 14 months old, I had custody.


Tell her Robert sent you.

[lrcvsc]

I'm in SA TX and in my decree I fought for "No Primary Custodial Parent" would be named. In the decree it was written that the Boys would reside in our home county, not her house or mine (we have 50/50 custody). This was to protect me from her getting up and moving. The ex has pushed about getting it changed, because of the BF, but I've stuck to my guns. Been threaten about going back to court, my response to her is "Go Explain it to a Judge Why You Want it Changed". Not for the boys sake but for yours.

My attorney fought a case simular to yours and the outcome, the judge order the Mom to pay for all expenses associate with whatever means of transportation. So that the kids could come and visit their father (a friend of mine) during his visitation weekends. She was not happy. This went on for about 3 months, they all moved back.

Good Luck

[patton]

I'm in Texas too.  So I'll give you what I have.  

I lived in one county 120 (240 roundtrip) from mother and child to begin with.  I picked up and took child back.  The court order at the time did not state any pick up or delivery place, so I went to wherever she and the child told me to meet them, which was NEVER at her home that was stated on the court order.

So we go to court for contempts (mostly visitation) and since the rendition of the order she's MOVED to another county (actually closer). So the Judge says, I will pick up child and she, the mother, is to retrieve him.

Then we go to mediation and she signs over the child (long story there) and now she has to pick up and return him both.

Actually the Texas standard court order should read something like the following:

Parties may only move to contingent counties (or you can specifically name the counties)  or parties are confined to the one county.  If the party moves they are responsible for all transportation costs.  I think the standard code gives you the options.  I wish mine were here at work with me and I'd copy it exactly like it says.

[raiderman76]

I have personally won this battle and now our son is restricted to living in our current county.