Calling 911

[Reyna]

I posted earlier regarding forensic psychologist and stated then that my husband is in a custody battle with his ex.  I appreciate all the answers I received on that question. I read up on all the articles on here and feel much better about what we went through with the Dr. and understand a bit more as to what he was trying to find out. I now have a couple other questions and tried to first do a search on here for the answers and can't seem to find them.

My husband is fighting for custody because of abuse, mental and physical. We have been to court and even though all believe the kids 100%, the judge wanted the forensic testing done before he makes a decision. We have the kids the majority of the summer, with exception of a couple weekends and the final court date will be before school starts and before the kids would be returned to her and we would be back to the every other weekend thing.  

The kids came back today and said that it was horrible this weekend and that they were screamed at for everything. The oldest wanted to call us, but was not allowed. He said his mom kept the phone on her at all times. His law guardian and the CPS worker involved in the case have both told her she has to allow them to use the phone and if it gets bad they are to call 911.

The kids asked today "what is bad enough to call 911". So I tried searching the site for anything regarding calling 911, but could not find it. So here is my question. Is screaming reason enough to call 911 or does she need to physically hurt them first? This is insane that this question even needs to be asked.  But she is a master manipulator and is claiming that we made the kids say all this.

My biggest fear is that they call 911 and the police come out, see no marks and leave and then she does hurt them.

[junglechicken]

I don't know what you mean by "screaming", but imo it depends on what is being screamed.  

The only time i would suggest calling 911 is if a kid is in fear for his or her life.  If mom is chasing them around the house screaming "I'm going to kill you, you little sh**!"  Then yes, call 911.  

If "screaming" is mom's way of communicating, as in "Pick this crap up off the floor NOW!", then no.

[Reyna]

Her idea of screaming is calling them names, threats of abuse. The last visit, the time before this one, SS did call here. My husband was at work, so I was on the phone with him. She saw that he had gotten the phone and called and started screaming, telling him to hang up the G** D*** phone or she was going to kick his F***ing A@@ and how dare he think he could talk to us in private....and on and on. We almost called that night, but will the police actually do anything for that.

Let me state that we have unlimited phone access when they are there as she does when they are with us.

They are afraid, but we (my husband and I) just don't know where the line is. We know the abuse is getting worse, we also know we need to go about getting them the correct way, through the courts. CPS is involved, LG, Forensic Psychologist. Court is next month and hopefully it will all be over and they will be safe with us.

I do know if someone was accusing me of abusing my children I would be doing everything possible to show everyone what a wonderful mom I was. Not her, she is doing the opposite. It is almost like she is trying to prove to everyone that she can and will do what she wants.  

Like I said court is at the end of next month. All we can do is wait it out and be thankful we have them the next 6 weeks, minus 2 more weekends.

[LizaLou1]

I'm not generally in favor of sending cell phones but... depending on their age, give them a cell phone with thier Law Guardian's cell phone number.   It's his job to protect them - they can't go wrong calling him about anything.  That worked for us.

However, that's not to say 911 should not be called for a true emergency, but I'm not real sure how 911 and cell phones work together.

LizaLou

[Kitty C.]

There's a HUGE difference between an adult (especially an NCP) calling 911 and a child.  If a child calls in on 911 (as long as it's not a prank, then the parents can get into trouble), they ALWAYS take them seriously.

Look at it this way, if a child is frightened enough to call 911 (and yelling can do that), the cops will know that something is going on, even if there are no bruises or marks on the child.  It will put the adults in the home 'on alert' that the cops 'know' something is going on, and the cops will generally 'keep an eye on things', just in case.  In the event that any adult takes retribution on the child for calling 911 (especially withholding the phone), tell them to go to a neighbor if at all possible to call 911.

Bottom line:  As long as it's not a prank, ALL children's calls on 911 are taken seriously.

[msme]

with getting custody when you go to court. You best have a whole load of evidence & witnesses because too many judges will not believe there is any such thing as a bad mommy.

My son's ex was investigated & found guilty of severe abuse & neglect of their 3 children, by CPS.  He asked if they were going to remove them & was told that they would not do that. They would, however, offer her lessons to help her become a better mommy.

It wasn't until she beat their daughters face black, blue, & bloody, that he was able to get an ex parte order, giving him full sole custody. The judge still gave her visitation & she continued to abuse them.

He finally lined up a bunch of her former friends & lovers to testify to the abuse, as well as the school counselor & the childrens therapist. The professionals reccommended supervised visitation, a psych eval & drug testing. The judge refused the Psych & drug testing & reduced the visitation to 3 hours a week.

She continues to emotionaly abuse them & has caused the daughter to have 3 breakdowns that put her in a mental hospital, 3 times, & she is only 12 years old.

Don't trust the judge to do what you believe in your heart is the right thing. Build your case & make it strong. Have your husband look up old mutual friends & see what they have to say.  People like that frequently alienate friends & they will often want what is best for the children & will testify for you.

Good luck & God bless.


You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[Reyna]

I am so far from comfortable it isn't funny. I am scared to death to be honest with you. I love those kids with all my heart and only want them happy and safe.

Do I think we will win, I haven't a clue, depends on the day and what new news I have been told by whoever is involved. My God what a roller coaster ride of emotions we have been on. I am ready to get off and get on with our lives.

I am so sorry about your granddaughter, my heart aches for all of you and what she has gone through. Is she still with her mother?

Thanks for the advise, I will have my husband look into that.

[msme]

>They are afraid, but we (my husband and I) just don't know where< >the line is. We know the abuse is getting worse, we also know we< >need to go about getting them the correct way, through the courts.< >CPS is involved, LG, Forensic Psychologist. Court is next month<
>and hopefully it will all be over and they will be safe with us.<

I guess I just wanted you to realize that it doesn't help to get your hopes up in these cases, if you are the dad. When my son went for the first hearing for temporary orders, he had had the kids for about 6 weeks. The cops had removed them from her after she attempted to kill him & me in front of the kids, then proceeded to tell the cops, again in front of the kids that she intended to kill him just as soon as she got the chance. They gave her a domestic violence ticket.

Besides that, she had turned their home into a commune, moving in all the local druggies. He had all the faith in the world that right will triumph over wrong. There was the finding of severe abuse & neglect, the evidence of drug use, plus multiple suicide attempts when she was alone with the kids.

We had evidence of the severe louse infestation & the pics of the children the day we got them, filthy & dressed in rags. The kids had told the police that they were hungry & that all they had had to eat all day was a half a tuna sandwich & some water.

The pbfh cried that he had made them spend the time locked in his 2 room efficiency apt. The judge refused to look at any of the evidence, including the fact that the kids had been taken on a wonderful vacation by me. She also refused to consider the fact that the pbfh had never called or contacted my son at any time to ask about the kids or ask to talk to them.

You ask yourself, what judge in their right mind would leave kids in that situation? Well, welcome to reality. The first thing the judge did was to point her finger at my son & yell, "You had no right to take her children from her."

Surprise, The airhead, blonde, bimbo judge ripped the kids out of a warm, loving, clean, stable home & put them back with her. I guess a portion of the blame is on my son for believing that he could win so he didn't realize how important his choice of an attorney was.

This is very important. If at all possible, you need a Board Certified Family Law & Custody Specialist, who specializes in father's rights. Do you know how good your attorney is in father's rights cases? You should ask what his firms success rate has been in father's rights cases.

I don't mean to ramble but I know how devestated we were because we just knew the courts would protect the children. All 3 children live with their Dad & have for nearly 2 years. But those 3 hour a week visits continue to take their toll on them. On the good side, my grandaughter has begun to finally realize that her mother is a liar & has begun to call her on it.

My son is still fighting to get at least supervised visitation but so far, unsuccessfully. We have added your family to our prayer list & will continue to pray for your success.

Good luck & God bless.


You never get a second chance to make a first impression!