need some feedback...

[njap]

My son was born on June 17th of this year. Something that should be an enjoyable occasion has been anything but. To make a long story short there were some questions about paternity. So she suggested a test. So we took a test that concluded "(I) could not be excluded as the biological father of (child). Well that was enough evidence for me. Anyway for whatever reasons she decided to not have me be a part of the whole child birth process. She also stated she didnt believe that test and wanted another one. It's bad enough that I missed the birth of my child (most likely the only one I'm ever going to have) but now she wants another paternity test done. I only found out that my son was born because her own family members called me to tell me (Im on good terms with them). I then called her to ask her if the baby was born. I then went to the courts to file for visitation and joint custody. Well our first meeting was a waste of time. We sat for five minutes and the mediator asked if she wanted a paternity test. She said yes and that is scheduled for this Wednesday (July 29th). They also scheduled the next court day to be Sept. 8th. I'm is shock how long I have to wait to see my own son. Not to mention I may have to pay from the day the paperwork was filed (June 30th). I have no problems with the support but it should start from the day I get to see him.
    My questions are-
I keep hearing that it's hard to get joint custody. I want to have a say in the major decision making. I also want a concrete schedule. I want to have him for set days and set weekends etc. I also dont want her moving cross country like she threatened to.
   How much would it help if I got a lawyer? I honestly feel like I dont need one nor should I need one. I'm simply trying to see my son and It's not like I'm making unreasonable requests. I just hear of horror stories of men getting bashed in court for no apparent reason. I'm a working man, no arrests , no drugs etc. I cant see how she can hold anything against me.

Any help will be appreciated.
Thanks.
AP

[tracylee]

I'm definitely not an expert, but you will end up having to get an attorney.  Fathers pay hell trying to get anything accomplished through the court system.  I wish you luck.  But, you will definitely have to hire an attorney....and I would do it sooner than later or you'll wish you had!  Take care

[Peanutsdad]

If you dont get an attorney, you will likely get cornholed in court. Count on it,, unless you are well versed in being in court yourself.



Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm

Suggestions When Falsely Accused
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/falseacc1.htm

Dealing With Threats Of False Allegations
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/blackmail.htm

URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/guide.htm


http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.htm

One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.


http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/acronyms.htm

[wendl]

If you decide not to get an atty, do as peanutsdad said.

Also download some parenting plan, remember that is plan will be in effect for a long long time and if you don't want to keep going back to court, remember to include things as when the child gets to school age, remember to include holidays, school breaks etc. Be VERY specific in your parenting plan.

Keep trying to contact and see your child prior to the hearing, document everytime you went over, called etc. Key to a lot of things is good documentation.

Many men get the raw end of the deal thru courts, its pretty sad that everyone is more interested in the $$$$$$$$$ than the child being with his/her parents EQUALLY, most ncp get reduced down to visitors in their childrens lives.

:)


PS--CONGRATS ON THE BIRTH OF THE BABY
**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**