What to expect at Custody Modification Trial Wed, Aug 18

[swilloug]

This Wednesday we will be at trial for custody modification for my stepson.

I have never been through this and have no idea what to expect.  Can anyone give me any ideas of what to expect.

My husband started the motion to modify at the beginning of the year because my SS had failed 5th and 6th grade.  BM has not made any attempts to correct the problem.  Husband currently has joint legal custody with BM primary residency.  They live about an hour and a half away.  She moved from our area about four years ago.  The only counter claim she has against us is my husband dropping SS off drunk (which is a lie) and SS being verbally and mentally abused at our home (which is also a lie).  This is a mother that does not work and really has never had a job in her life.  She would waitress or clean houses here and there but nothing for a long length of time.  She now is married and has a 2-year-old daughter with her husband.

BM and my husband were never married or lived together.  In 2001 the court was petitioned on visitation order since BM would keep my husband from seeing his son and she never stuck to the verbal agreements or self-written agreements.

I am very nervous about the trial Wednesday.  BM and husband had mediation last month that went very well in our favor and I hope the trial will go as well but I just have no idea what will happen.

Any insight will be appreciated.  Thanks

[TGB]

I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner. It's too late now to introduce new evidence. Hopefully you already followed the advice on this board to Document! Document! Document!!!

Failing two years of school is good evidence for a change of custody, but it's very important that you clearly document WHY he failed and what you plan to do about it. There will likely be numerous comments on the report cards that failure to complete homework assignments was affecting his grades. Use these to show a lack of parental guidance and monitoring.

See http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/provepas.htm for tips on some of the things I see all the time that should be introduced as evidence in a case like yours.

If you don't already have a guardian ad litem (GAL), most likely the opposing side will try to delay the trial by requesting one now. Expect that. Have 3 names with you to submit to the judge as possible guardians ad litem. Some GALs are heavily biased towards mothers, so it's critical that you do your homework in advance! You can bet the names submitted by the opposing side are not the ones you would want to deal with.

[Sunshine1]

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[swilloug]

Even though there was not a final decision it went well.  She ended up hanging herself.  The judge order further investigation of AD/HD before he makes his decision.  The judge said if SS does yave AD/HD then BM is not totally at fault but if SS does NOT have AD/HD then modification will accure.

We believe the judge saw through all the bs.  She orginally asked that visitation be limited to three hours on Sunday weekly where they live.  By the afternoon of trial BM was put back on the stand and asked if she still felt the visitation needed to be limited (this is of course after her morning testomy that it should be limited) and she said she didn't feel the limitation was necessary since SS was doing better since he had been going to see the psycologist.

She knew she was on the loosing!

There has ben a GAL appointed to SS, and he seems to be pretty level headed, although I know nothing about his background.

Our concern now is BM couching SS to "act" AD/HD.  According to psycologist it should only take a couple of weeks to observe SS in school to determine if he has AD/HD.

Should we do anything to help prevent couching?  What could we do?  

My husband is meeting with the psycologist on Saturday (the appointment was already set up prior to trial).

Thank you for all your help.  I do document, document, document--everything and have now for 12 years!

[Kitty C.]

If the psychologist is only going to be monitoring SS in school, I don't think you have much to worry about in regards to coaching.  Along with watching SS for signs of ADHD, he will also talk to SS's teachers to ask them if they've seen him off task and other signs of ADHD.  The best place to evaluate a child for ADD/ADHD is in the classroom.  

And personally, I don't think there's any way he could keep up the facade of whatever BM might put into his head.  Even if she tries, he will forget himself and 'act attentive' or as he usually does and that will be spotted immediately.  If his behavior changes with whomever is watching or not watching him, that is significant proof that he's been coached.

Now, if BM is THERE while this evaluation is going on, I'd be highly suspicious, as should the psychologist be also.  Just remember that the psychologist may come back with a report that he may have been inattentive at times, but you need to take the report as a whole, including all info given to him by the teachers.  Maybe he's only inattentive during a certain class, one that he doesn't like or bored with.  MANY kids do that!  They're looking to see it happening in ALL aspects of school, except for maybe PE or any place where he's physically active.  And if they see where 'might be mildly inattentive' but it does not warrant intervention, whether academically, medically, or behavior-wise, then there will be no diagnosis of ADD/ADHD.

[Lawmoe]

Trials are the same.

the moving party goes first presenting witnesses, testimony and any evidence that is in their possession to support their position., the other party may object to irrelevant material. that is generally any material that predates tha last custody order, hearsay, evidence or statements that lack foundation (authentication or personal experience).  When they finish their case the other side presents their case to rebut through witnesses and evidence related to the best interests of the child.