Is this reasonable to expect

[SadStepMom]

DH and BM have mediation this next week.  BM has initiated I think due to a request for information about the children from DH.  We have had problems with BM for the last 6 years.  We do not live close to BM (this was not DH' choice) and over the last 6 years have had limited contact with the kids due to the "visitation is what they agree upon" decree.  BM doesn't agree to much.  Current order is joint physical and legal custody (but that hasn't been reality)

Kids are 10 and 12.  It has been a little over a year since DH has seen kids.  The last visit lasted 3 weeks, but she never agreed to over nights.

Here are things that I think DH might want to ask for, and I was wondering how the odds might add up for him getting these.

50% of summer vacation (about 6 weeks)
Though we can't afford to do it every month, provision for DH to have one weekend a month if he can get there.

14 Days notice of moving with new address and phone
BM stop having kids using step-dad's last name
Correct school records to have DH as father
Rules about phone visitation (she hasn't returned any calls in almost 2 years)


Thanks,
SSM

[wendl]

Why not ask for every other  school break (spring, thanksgiving) 1/2 of xmas break, 6 consecutive weeks in the summer (make sure to speficy dates.
make sure to put in in ODD years dad gets xx break and so on

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[Lawmoe]

If your order allows for joint physical and legal custody, you are shooting too low.

First, it is always a mistake to fail to include a schedule. A schedule is a safety net in the event the parties disagree.  Second, a relocaioncmplicates matters. If the other parent relocated, the onus of the majority of transportation usually falls on that party, However, if you failed to object, that may create many problems. You have allowed a status quo to develop.

I would suggest asking for the entire summer except the week after school lets out and the week before it begins, supporting your suggestion by including sports and activities the child(ren) would be involved in in your area.  You should also ask for school breaks.

[smtotwo]

creates a status quo, but our problem is that we NEVER know until after the move.

Last weekend SS 10 told us they weren't moving until the end of the month, however SS 8, said they were starting the new school tuesday.

We think thats because psychomommy knows shes supposed to give DH 30 days written notice of a move, but hasn't done that.  This will give her the time to do that.

She has also programmed SS 10, to lie to "protect" her from DH and having to go back to court.

So how do we deal with this?

[wendl]

well my husbands ex always file the intent to relocate the children AFTER she moves, then most of the time the commissioners here won't make the mother move back.

This will be my yss's 3rd school in 4yrs and oss on his 4th school (he is going intp 4th) it sucks cuz the kids start to make friends then they move again.

But my dh does what he can, he objected once and omg that was a complete joke.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[SadStepMom]

I think DH's ex has yours beat, as far as schools go.  oss is going into 5th grade and we are on school number 8 and yss is going into grade 4 and is on his 6th school.

It is a bit ridiculous since most of the moves were not necessary, BM just wasn't  happy with where they were.  (She hasn't lived in one place longer than 18 months since she left home)