miss my son

[BobbyLee]

I am extremely frustrated with the courts. I am finally getting a legal divorce after 3 years of seperation.  I tried going back briefly a year and a half ago because I felt so bad leaving the children with her.  My soon-to-be-ex is dragging it on and on. She tells my children (ages 9 & 14) that I have ruined their lives and betrayed them. She also tells them that they are poor now because of me.  I pay a great deal of child support and my children do not want for anything. She has terrible budgeting skills and refuses to work more than a couple of hours in the morning. The judge made a temporary decision that we switch every other week in the summer, but I only get them every other weekend during the school year because we can't along at all.  Because my 14 year old daughter told the law guardian I have 'ruined her life' (I wonder where she got that from?) and that she wants to live with her mother, my son has to live there too. They said that they do not want to split up the kids.  They also said that they realize that there is no structure or stability in her household, but that the 14 year old chose there.  She is a very troubled kid and I hate that I am unable to help her.  She refuses to see me at all now.  I also hate that she is allowed to influence my son's life like this. Not only do I barely get to see him, but he is living with two very troubled, unhappy females that like to talk about how terrible I am and how terrible life is because of me.  Every Sunday evening that my son is with me, he gets upset and tells me that he doesn't want to go back.  I tell him that I am doing everything I can, but honestly I do not know what to do.  The law guardian told me that I would have to prove her unfit...but the only people that she is ever around (she has no friends, very poor social skills) is her family and they are not going to testify against her.  My lawyer tells me I have to wait until he is 12, and will have a say.  I am just afraid of all of the damage that will occur until then.  Does anyone have any advice??  Oh, also to meet her, you know right away something is not right.  She has been advised to seek counseling many times, she has started a few times, but quits.  Everyone that meets her or interacts with her always has some weird story to tell me about her behavior or things that she says. But, she provides basic food and shelter, so I don't know if it matters!

[BobbyLee]

I am extremely frustrated with the courts. I am finally getting a legal divorce after 3 years of seperation.  I tried going back briefly a year and a half ago because I felt so bad leaving the children with her.  My soon-to-be-ex is dragging it on and on. She tells my children (ages 9 & 14) that I have ruined their lives and betrayed them. She also tells them that they are poor now because of me.  I pay a great deal of child support and my children do not want for anything. She has terrible budgeting skills and refuses to work more than a couple of hours in the morning. The judge made a temporary decision that we switch every other week in the summer, but I only get them every other weekend during the school year because we can't along at all.  Because my 14 year old daughter told the law guardian I have 'ruined her life' (I wonder where she got that from?) and that she wants to live with her mother, my son has to live there too. They said that they do not want to split up the kids.  They also said that they realize that there is no structure or stability in her household, but that the 14 year old chose there.  She is a very troubled kid and I hate that I am unable to help her.  She refuses to see me at all now.  I also hate that she is allowed to influence my son's life like this. Not only do I barely get to see him, but he is living with two very troubled, unhappy females that like to talk about how terrible I am and how terrible life is because of me.  Every Sunday evening that my son is with me, he gets upset and tells me that he doesn't want to go back.  I tell him that I am doing everything I can, but honestly I do not know what to do.  The law guardian told me that I would have to prove her unfit...but the only people that she is ever around (she has no friends, very poor social skills) is her family and they are not going to testify against her.  My lawyer tells me I have to wait until he is 12, and will have a say.  I am just afraid of all of the damage that will occur until then.  Does anyone have any advice??  Oh, also to meet her, you know right away something is not right.  She has been advised to seek counseling many times, she has started a few times, but quits.  Everyone that meets her or interacts with her always has some weird story to tell me about her behavior or things that she says. But, she provides basic food and shelter, so I don't know if it matters!