Lawmoe...HELP!! Need a direction..sorry long

[Sunshine1]

Ok, I am the BM of 2 and a SM of 2, CP's of all of them.

Last week I went to court for a TRO that I filed on Stepmom for serious threats of killing me and our children and herself.  She was taken into custody prior to the TRO that I filed for trying to kill herself and BioFather had put a OFP on her as well.

He later dropped it after 7 whole days of being on the psch floor, she was suddenly cured.  Found out SM is diagnosed bi-polar and goes off her meds quite often, and this is a regular thing for her to do.  First time threatening me but not the first time of interference with BF's time. We have all only known her for a year.  She admitted she concealed her illness.

Ok, went to court for the TRO. (representing myself) I was broadsided with an attorney hired for both of them.  He presented me with a nice agreement that had to deal with BF visitation rights.  (I want to make it very clear I am not trying to block him from his children, I just do not feel that she is a very safe person to be around.  Dad has open access to his children. ) Ok, so I am presented with a rough draft agreement that goes something like this:

Parenting time expeditor will be assigned and hired by BF.

TRO will be dropped, effective when new agreement is agreed upon and signed by both parties, and a judge.

SM will have no contact with BM at her residence, by phone, mail, at the school, ETC..

SM shall maintain regular couseling sessions and provide written proof to the expeditor that she is going to them weekly.

SM will maintain her medication and provide prescript that she is on them and filling them regularly.

SM shall have supervised visits with the children for an hour at a time at expeditors office until such time expeditor feels she is able to handle them in home dwelling with BF.

BF shall get his computer up and running and both parties shall purchase access to family wizard and all communication be through that and email.

There were a few other little things, but I can't remember them.  Everything was written on a legal pad and read off to me.  

Judge swore me in and asked if I agreed to such an agreement and I said I would agree to move this to family court, I stated to the court this has nothing to do with blocking visitation, and that I wanted the TRO in effect until an agreement was actually agreed upon, and the judge said "and signed by a judge".  I said absolutley.

Leaving there I couldn't believe I let them side swipe me like that!  I am very good under pressure usually, especially when dealing with my DH's case, but now the tables have turned.

What I want to know is, do I have to agree now that I have thought about it for a while?

I do not agree with supervised visits for her...she has no legal rights to the kids for crying out loud..good idea, bad idea?  Also a parenting time expeditor can not make that kind of determination!  her mental health will always be in question.

I agree with the parenting time expeditor but that is about all, and the family wizard, except up until now we have never had a communication problem until he married her.  She does not like the kids around and has stated as such several times.

As for BF in all of this, I am livid at his actions.  I thought I would never see the day that he chose a woman over his children (obviously I can't write down the whole story) but the main issue is, he is a fantastic father but has shown me his other side these past few months.  He does not call them anymore, he has wrote them off for Halloween, a day he has never missed, has not attended any conferences, has not met the teachers, and our one son has special needs and he hasn't met his teacher or even asked about anythign that is going on with him, his Dr.s etc..  I am mad that he has decided to be mad at me and his kids. I don't care he is mad at me, but they have done nothing wrong.  I am just trying to protect them.


PLEASE any advice on how I should handle this. I could use it.  I am posting a few things on Soc's board as well.

Thank you for all who read this far!

[Lawmoe]

First of all, since an order is not signed, you are not bound. However, there is little more that you can expect to receive in a Court.

A step parent is presumed to have an important role to play with children as well.  Since she suffers from a medical disability that can presumably be controlled, you will not be able to completely block her access to your children so long as she is married to their father.

The superised visits were proposed only so that the expeditor could determine that the step parent was taking hger medications and appropriate with the children.  I would further suggest that regardless how those visits go, that any contact between the children and the step parent occur with another adult present, even the biological father.