finally standing up for myself, scared to death

[karynmb123]

Well, I am the NCP of my 6yo daughter. I have been fighting (and being screwed by the system and my ex) for 3 years. I share joint legal with my ex, he has primary physical.  Our most recent court order is from July of this year which I have appealed and is scheduled to be heard in December.

The problem is, my ex's NG unit has been activated and he is being deployed to Iraq. He has already left for training in NJ. He left our daughter with his parents. Well after days of research and trying to get my lawyer to actually give me some advice (yeah right!) I called legal aid and was able to get some help. The attoney there advised me to file a motion to amend custody and pay a process server in Jersey to serve my ex. But in the meantime she told me to go get my daughter and keep her until we have our hearing. I have been wanting to just go do that in the worst way but was so unsure if I had that right, and if it turned out I was wrong what the backlash would be.

Well now that this attorney has told me to do that I will, but I am so nervous. I'm not sure if it is because I have been on the losing end for so long or what, but I am so worried about the u know what hitting the fan. The dad is away so he can't do much but I know his parents are gonna hit the roof. And while I know they have no legal right to my child, they do have a lot of money and influence in this backwoods town we live in. And I just see an all out battle ensuing. One that I sure hope I can deal with.

I'm worried that Monday afternoon, the grandmother will just march in the school and take her in which case, I'm not sure what will happen. But I do feel like my child needs to be in my custody when we do get this b4 a judge. But at the same time I'm afraid this judge will say I should have left her where she was until he ruled on this.

What do you all think????? Any input would be appreciated. If I know what I am doing is right, shouldn't I just do it for my childs sake???

[skye]

But in the meantime she told me to go get my daughter and keep her until we have our hearing. I have been wanting to just go do that in the worst way but was so unsure if I had that right, and if it turned out I was wrong what the backlash would be.


I can tell you now this is bad advice , the back lash could be far worse on you, than you might think, file for the ammend, and let the courts handle it.

[ocean]

Not sure but can you call  the lawyer back and tell her you are nervous she will take her out of school and can you get an immediate hearing or something so that the gradparents do not have the right to get her from school? How fast can you have him served? I went down to the court house once and they helped me fill out the paperwork and answer many of my questions. May be worth the trip....Make sure you have a copy of the filed paperwork for yourself to show the school but that may not be enough for them to keep grandma away since I am assuming your ex gave them something legal to take care of her while he is gone?? Good Luck! Let us know what happens! :)

[karynmb123]

Oh man, now I am really nervous. You think I should return her to the GPs after my visitation this weekend? Even though they have no legal right to her. The ex left them with a Power of Attorney, but this holds no water in the family courts.

If I return her, aren't I admitting that it is an acceptable situation for her to be there and by returning her aren't I giving the fact that they have her some legitimacy?


I'm so confused and I just want to do the right thing.

[skye]

ok dh  did this in 2000 , he took them from the sitter, he kept them for 3 months, he was severely punished even with evidenence mom had abused them. so I say I would not do this but only because I knopw what he went through and he was trying to protect his kids and he was following his attnys advice.

[kiddosmom]

One question,, are these grandparents unfit???

I can tell you now, if you go take that child with them having a POA, the stuff will hit the fan in a MAJOR way. First the court will be made to think you are doing this behind your ex's back while he is going to fight for our saftey. Then it can also be made to look that you are being just underhanded by waiting until the ex left so your not to be trusted with your child.

Frankly my thought, make a motion with the court asap, that is not admitting you think its the best for your child, its saying you are doing things by the law. In the wording put untill the CP returns, cause no judge is going to take away primary from him if he was called to duty.

[MYSONSDAD]

The POA puts a fly in the ointment.

There was a post a few weeks back concerning a grandmother doing pick ups. A POA was suggested.

If you should get a Judgement in regard to your having the child, make sure you offer the grandparents some type of visitation and telephonic communication.

With the father gone, this will be very hard on the child...

"Children learn what they live"

[wendl]

I would have to agree with the other posters.

Ask your attorney about a emergency ex parte hearing prior to your ex being deployed so that custody at least temp to you while he is away and then go from their.

Everything must go to thru the courts or you will screw yourself later.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[Stepmomnow]

Your lawyer has given you some of the worst advise I have ever heard on this board.  Do NOT just take your daughter.  You will be in violation of your court order and the Grandparents can have you thrown in jail for kidnap.  The attorney you talked to should be disbarred.

[socrateaser]

...that people post different versions of their case in different places. Then, when they post to me, they seem to think that I'm following everything that they say everywhere else.

You (and everyone else) need to make certain that you're not leaving anything out when you post to me or you will get confusing and probably incorrect advice.

Anyway, you're lucky I read this thread -- hopefully, you will come back to my board and read my response there, because I will not come back here to read anything written by anyone.

Buh Bye now.