False Sexual abuse allegation PAS

[brokenwing]

I don't know where to start or how much information I need to share but I hope someone can help direct me to additional resources to protect my 3 year old daughter, her half siblings and myself from ongoing deliberate false accusations of sexual abuse by her natural father and Step Mother.  Our daughter has been subjected to numerousl vaginal examinations, urine tests and medical procedures, interviews by CPS and this has been going on for the past two years beginnning shortly after he married.  I have been investigated by CPS 6 times and they have submitted reports to the Court that these accusations are false and futher unnecessary vaginal examinations is not recommended but the Judge won't listen.  He most recently ordered that her Father can take her to yet a 3rd pediatrician if he feels it is necessary and also suggested if her father wished, he had the authority to put our daughter in Foster care for 6 months to determine if they can verify his accusations to be true-since, her Pediatrician, CPS, her Daycare myself and numerous other individuals have testified and or submitted reports that none of the symptoms, complaints or accusations he claims to be seeing are true or seen anywhere else outside of his custody.  This latest accusation followed the footsteps of the original accusation in that he 1st requested a reduction of his $13 a week child support because he's out on workers compensation, he then wrote a personal letter to the judge which prompted another investigation by CPS, and the most recent order in which there wasn't even a petition before the Court the judge simply called a hearing based on a personal unsigned handwritten letter by her father. Her Pediatrician since birth advised CPS his only concern was there seems to be an ongoing obsession with our daughter's genitalia by her Father and Step Mother.  At this point I am outraged at the idea our daughter could just be taken from my home and away from everything she has known and loved since birth and placed with complete strangers based on her Father's-but most likely her Step Mother's deliberate and or delusional allegations.  The 1st allegation started after I got engaged and requested permission to relocate 50 miles away. Her Father promptly filed for shared custody alleging his new 2 parent setting provided more stability, and his new wife quit her job and could provide daycare in the home vs the daycare setting I was providing as a working Mom, he also requested for a reduction in child support.  The judge stated it wasn't in our daughter's best interest for me to move 50 miles away and get married as we had only dated for 5 months, although her Father and his wife dated for only 3 weeks before marrying the judge added "it wouldn't have mattered if he married a mail order bride and he has no restriction on relocating.  His request for shared custody was denied although he was given two additional overnights each week, the judge cited she still needed time with her other siblings.  Since that order over a year ago they have continuously subjected our little girl to numerous exams and shopped her to various Dr's accusing me from everything to sexual abuse original it was directed toward my then fiance, most recently since they succesfully ensured I could not pursue relocating andgetting married he is out of my life the claims have shifted to her older brothers.  On top of that they took her to the ER last Feb and claimed I overdozed her on over the counter cough syrup because she fell asleep on the ride down to exchange her fortunately the ER staff saw through their custody agenda and realized she was only napping and awoke shortly thereafter and had no symptoms of being drugged-totally absurd especially since it was on Valentines night what ex would want their child to be sleeping so the new couple could have a good time?  They also claimed her skin allergies and sensitivity to getting hives were flea bites obtained at my house.  When her Pediatricain examined her with new hives after a continuous five day visit with them they tried to say they must of come from my house 5 days earlier and only now just sufaced at their residence and threatened to sue him.  Her Pediatrian then referred her to a Pediatric allergy specialist who agreed with him and told them their accusations were totally aburd.  My daughter is suffering through all this and it seems like their is no end in site and I don't know how to protect her and I am desparate to find help but sadly as Dean Tong told me, the justice we get is often that which we can afford which for me is very little.  The more they shop her to various Dr's and don't get the answers and proof they are seeking the more obsessed they seem to be with ensuring someone will find their accusations to be true.  After the last court hearing and listening to her Father's unbelieveable testiomony I asked our 3 year old daughter if her pee pee ever hurts at her Dad's house and she told me sometimes when her Step Mom bathes her she washes it hard and tells her she has to get that yucky stuff out, puts medicine in there, and she had also cut her fingernails down to into the cuticles on the same visit to where they were swelled and sore and she cried and couldn't eat her supper-dipping french fries into catchup-they had also alleged I didn't take care of her finger and toe nails properly.  The next day I made my first complaint to CPS in 2 years and they documented it and visited our daughter at Daycare and confirmed what I said was true and that was the end of it I guess.  They said they will see if it happens again before taking any action.  The bathing and cleaning of her privates was an issue over a year ago the first time they alleged she was being abused when the two of them argued with her Pediatric nurse that her privates need to be thoroughly cleaned despite the nurse advising them this was probably the reason she complained of pain in that area in the first place and they should avoid thoroughly washing to get the natural discharge out.  The Court was aware of this fact also.  I asked the Court at the last hearing to put me under a microscope vs our daughter- agreed to voluntarily submit to a lie detector test, psychological exam and whatever else and requested a specialist in allegations of Sexual abuse or gynecologist  to see our daughter to hopefully put an end to these continuous unnecessary exams of our daughters privates but the Judge ignores all the reports, testimony, CPS recommendations etc. and seems bias beyond belief and displays no concern for our daughter's physical and psychological well being and what harm this is obviously doing to her.  After the Judges last order allowing her Father to take her to yet a 3rd Pediatrician her Primary Pediatrian relinquished all care and said it is not in her best interest to being seen by two Pediatricians at the same time especially with the history of everything that has occured.  I am livid as this Dr was also my Obstetrician through out my whole pregnancy and delivered our daughter his office is extremely reputable as well and our daughter is comfortable with him, his staff and surroundings and she's already been seen by a separate Pediatrician and had her privates thoroughly examined and he concurred with her Primary Pediatrician she is not being abused and the physical symptoms they claim to be observing are nonexistent and they recommended she continue to be seen by her Primary Pediatrician.  I have consulted with Dean Tong and he gave me some good advise to pass on to my Attorney, and my Attorney is currently attempting to pressure CPS to perform psychologicals on everyone and he also asked the judge to reconsider his order-undoubtedly that won't happen however at least it will be documented.  I cannot afford to hire experts and after reading numerous articles about the psyche of false accusers including Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy which seems to most closely relate to the behaviors of her Step Mom (with what my daughter has recently told me) and has totally frightened me to where I am in constant fear everytime I send my daughter over for a visit she may come back with actual physical symptoms of sex abuse to validate their claims.   I have went as far as to coach my daughter to protect herself and advised her  to tell her Step Mom she can wash her own privates, she does it at my house, and that isn't yucky stuff it's girl stuff and her Mommy and sissy have it too but it isn't working she has even told me and my Attorney she locked herself in the bathroom the last time.  On top of all these false allegations they have encouraged her to refer to her Step Mom as her "Mommy" since they married after dating for 3 weeks, and me as her other Mommy or by my full name and told her she isn't allowed to talk about me or call me when she is there.  The Step Mom has one child who is 12 and has alot of psychological problems including ADD and OD and takes 3 prescription medications, she also can't have any other children which I feel is a major motivation in all this.  In her own Child custody case this same judge put a restraining order on her after she repeatedly harrassed her exhusband and his new wife and made a statement she wished she was dead.  The Judge is also currently under investigation by the FBI, our State Attorney General's Office and a Tri County drug enforcement task force for his alleged participation in possible criminal behaviors which he denies, although he has admitted he is unable to be unbiased in certain criminal cases due to this investigation and our District Attorney has successfully had him removed from numerous Criminal cases however stated he can't help me as my case is a Civil matter.  There are other women and men who have also been in my situation where there seems to be some hidden agenda or bias present in his decision making process but noone is taking action at least in the civil cases.  I am challenging the judge but fear my actions will only bring futher reprecussions on our daughter like the Foster care threat,  as nobody seems to care about the real victim in all this or the effects all of this has had not only on her but my other children as well.  They are all above average students, outstanding athletes and very involved in their school and community my oldest son is in his 2nd year of college.  My other daughter who is 11 has never had a single problem with her privates or required any vaginal exams and nothing inappropriate has ever occured with her or her brothers or anyone else and I have never been accused of abusing or neglecting my children in 20 years of raising children and had numerous witnesses including my children, our Pastor, numerous friends and babysitters all testified, school records were presented even my Exhusband testified on my behalf but none of that seems to have made any impressions on this judge?  This whole ordeal was so stressful for my 15 year old son who was so angered by everything and wanted to physically attack her Father, my exhusband and I agreed it would be best to allow him to live with his father and separated him from his other siblings and sent him to a private christian school.  I in turn gave up $700 a month in child support and am raising my other children soley on my income so my Ex husband can afford his tuition.  The same judge concluded- I abandoned him to his father by allowing this despite my Exhusband, and even my son testifying to the contrary-who would give up $700 a month in child support to benefit herself in the 1st place?  With these new accusations I fear I should allow my other son to also go live with his Dad to protect him too?  I'm sorry about the book and I hope I haven't rambled too much but tried to fill in the whole picture here.  

[MYSONSDAD]

What a mess. This happens more often then I care to think.

Not long ago, there was a poster by the name "Aussie" You might want to go back thru the posts and read what happend to him. Very similiar.

Here is a site that may be useful. It has suggestions, but in your case, may be too late.

http://www.abuse-excuse.com/

Please separate your paragraphs next time you post. This was hard to read.

"Children learn what they live"

[brokenwing]

thanks for responding!  I already spoke with Dean Tong over at abuse-excuse and he gave me some possible motions for my attorney to file. I can't afford his services personally unfortunately $5,000 for him plus another $5,000 for a PA attorney that he would recommend although I would be willing to sell everything I own if it came down to that.  

I think my best bet is trying to get this judge to recuse himself and hopefully get a judge who genuienly cares about the best interest of the children vs the blantant bias this judge has shown and lack of concern for what these numerous unnecessary physical examinations are doing to our daughter- not only physically but psychologically too.

Word is the judge also went through his own nasty custody and child support ordeal once.  Just got news yesterday the DA was successful in having him removed from another criminal case based on his admission to bias previously due to the current ongoing investigation by the FBI and Attorney Generals -wish they would do something about the Civil cases too surely our children deserve unbiased finders of fact hearing custody cases as much if not more then defendants accused of Murder?

I will look for that other post you mention also.  Thanks for sharing it.  

[aussierules]

I have resurfaced and will post again shortly. If I can be of any help drop me a message and I will do my best to respond. As MYSONSDAD says your case is very similar to my own.

[MYSONSDAD]

Just wondering how your making out, glad your still here, everyone has missed you...

"Children learn what they live"