hoping for advice, partly about lawyers

[TMO]

Man, I'm in a real eccentric case. There's a million things I'll try not to go into too much, I've been on here off and on with different names when I forgot my old login but not for awhile.


Anyway though, the case started in 2000 and is still ongoing through many reconciliations and even the birth of another child in '03.
The case is in the county I reside in right now. Her lawyer has to drive here for court dates.

My wife can't really support herself, and isn't big on watching kids or living with them when we're separated. Her mom does most of the speaking with the lawyer. The deal is that she (her mom) basically feels my wife should try to get child support and hand the kids over to her, and there's all kinds of public assistance issues involved.


Anyway, the main thing I'm wondering about now (I'm leaving tons of stuff out on purpose) is this: every time we've been headed towards a trial my lawyer hasn't done any kind of trial preparation with me, and left a lot of things for me to suggest for him to do, like request a homestudy.


I'm sure he knows that I'm pretty wiped out and is afraid to devote too much time to the case- especially in a very small town where big trials are almost unheard of- but now that this whole deal has restarted and we're talking about scheduling a trial date, I just can't see showing up unprepared and accepting an offer. She's got problems (I don't think she's ever even lived at the same address for more than 2 months at a time since she was 15 years old, aside from some stretches with me, so you can imagine some things without me spelling them out right now), and apparently doesn't live with the kids when we're separated, I'm kind of an average guy who came from a decent family but dropped out of college and works at a dead end job (but Union, ain't that nice) you know no "I was arrested when she says I hit her" story (I'll keep my fingers crossed).


But I'm sure not ready to settle for any cookie cutter crap deal her lawyer would throw out there, because due to her having no employment or means she stays with various family and friends 250 miles away when we're separated, and any deal as it stands now would strip me of parental rights just due to the address she drew out of a hat on any given day and I guess her being the mother.

What do I do if my lawyer sets me up for a trial date with no prep, and then urges me to accept a very bad offer?

Due to the time the case has been ongoing, if it came to dismissing the lawyer or him dropping the case, would I be in bad shape?


Usually the motive behind settling I understand is the fear of a trial coming up with a worse outcome, but I don't see how it could be worse.

There's basically zero property to fight over and we owe more than we're worth by a longshot. CS guidelines are pretty well set by Form 14 (I think it's 14) anyway, and there's the distance factor that would preclude me from any real parenting time if she insisted on staying in that town and I gave her a settlement.

[VeronicaGia]

Well, if your attorney is simply trying to save you money, as opposed to not knowing what he's doing, then he's kind of doing you a favor.  Also, if he knows that you have a good idea about all this stuff, he may just be lazy.  No matter what, it is always a good thing that you are knowledgeable; just imagine if you weren't!

So, you don't really say what exactly is going on.  Who has custody now?  Is it temporary custody?  Where have the kids been living all this time?  Would it be in their best interests (and can you prove it) that they stay where the are or go with the other parent?  Would they have a more stable environment?  How old are they?  Are they in school?  Are they doing well in school?

So many questions.....

[gipsy]

I didn't get if there was a home study done or not , Was there? secondly
  Here In wash state there is a basic process ,   It's so simple that You Wouldn't believe it ,
 When theres children involve You can go get a Guardian Ad Litem
   Its called    Order Appointing Guardian Ad Litem On behalf of Minor Children ,     This person Is appointed By the court as  a supposed representative of the children ,  the costs vary due the things that happen in the case , If you want the kids to live with you then tell the GAL why , What the mother has been doing , But don't get into complaining , Just the facts about her lack of stability and where the kids are now , I'm Not sure why You just don't go get the kids from Grandma , Ask Atty first , then keep them , If the atty goes along with it , Ask the atty about the Guardian ad Litems in Your state ,
   The reason Most states  Have the Guardians of minors appointed is because , Atty's are hired to represent the parents fighting over the children , And the childrens interest is SUPPOSED TO BE  reported by the GAL SOOOO, Now remmember the GAL Is not the sharpest tool in the shed iether , So The pertinant facts is all they need , If Your atty' say's there is a GAL program In your state , then ask why not appoint one ? And If Atty gives some reason not to then talk to few other atty's . In wash state its basically accepted that the judge won't do much with out a GAL report , The facts are , this The Judge did not go out and see what Is going on , They don't do that . In my case the basics were the GAL Looked at My house talked to Me and witnesses , then said MR XXX has A bed  toys and clothes etc for the child and he gets visits , In My case there was no real reason to have the kids come  with Me as apposed to staying with Mom , And the system is Biassed toward the mothers , And Your atty or most atty;svcan't do much to change that , The best way to win that battle is to get the GAL to think you are a Better parent , And Mom is Unstable , Or to report to the judge that Mom isn't stable , Soooo Tyhen you go to the judge . with the report at trial . Don't do any thing except mind your own buiseness and Be a good parent to the children , Keep your complaints about her to the point and the best thing believe it or notis to say a few things of good will about mom , If you express bad will then it looks bad in a report , The best report would be You express good will But Mom is unstable in her living situations , And want the GAL to find out what the living conditions are , and leave it up to the GAL to find out , And most important is to Make your house look prepared for the kids even if you have to get beds at the second hand store and a dresser for the kids to put there things in , And Make the trips to see the kids , It doesn't look to good if you don;t go see the kids ,  
            Hope this Helps