I need some help/advice with keeping visitation rights with my daughter

[sanjay.srikonda]

Hi,

I'm really worried right now.  I wonder how many dads have come on this board and said the exact same thing to start.  My situation is as follows:

I'm a father of an 18 month old, my wife and I are in the process of splitting up, we're currently in El Salvador, we're teaching here.  However, we're from the US and moving back to the US within the next month or two.  My fear is the following:  my wife is going to Atlanta with our daughter, to stay with her mom, I'm going back to NJ to stay with my dad, I don't know what she is planning, but I have a sinking suspicion that she is planning on leaving the country with our daughter and using any tactic she can to get what she wants.  I have read where women have used the specter of abuse to get the husbands to cowtow or the courts to give all rights to the mother.  I am afraid she may try this tactic even though it is totally false.  My daughter is 18 months old and I love her very much.  I have stated categorically, to my wife, that I will do whatever she says, but that she let me see my daughter on a regular basis.  However, if she takes a job outside of the US, I cannot do that bc it would cost too much to go overseas to see her as as often as possible.

I know your organization is based in MA, however, I don't know who to contact in NJ/NY to ask questions of of this type.  Please let me know if you can direct me to another site, or person or persons who can advise me of my rights.

[antonin]

What do you mean you'll do "whatever she says?" If you let your child out of your sight, you will loose custody to your wife. She will file an ex parte motion and you will be dead.

File for divorce and custody now. Strike first. Read everything on this site. You will know what to do.

I fear your are about to become a victim (like I am) of the most deadly type of divorce: The "preemptive strike" divorce.

[kitten]

Go to Atlanta also if you can.  File for divorce and joint custody and a restraining order preventing her from leaving the county with your daughter.  Even if you HAVE to go to NJ, file the same there.  Go to the court in your county, file FIRST.  Especially with regards to custody.  Document EVERYTHING, every conversation, every moment with your daughter, every moment not with your daughter.  Let Mom beleive you are agreeable, but do what you need to do in court without giving her any heads up.  Follow your instincts about Mom, you will probably always be right.  I wish you and your daughter the best.