Is it possible to modify parenting plan in Washington State?

[kidsfirst]

Good day,

I am a new member today and at a lose on how to help my bf.  About 3 years ago he went thru a divorce with his ex.  In my opinion, he ended up getting screwed on the parenting plan.  He says it was just easier to not fight with her and is waiting for the older daughter to turn 18.  His attorney at the time told him that Washington state would not split up kids (the oldest isn't biologically his) and the ex moved about an hour away so joint was something he couldn't do being single with no family here at the time.  Now, his mom and dad are here and I'm here.  His son cries when he has to leave his dad's house.  The oldest daugther even says that the mother is never around when they are home and the daugther basically has to watch her brother all the time. 

His parenting plan is the 1st and 3rd weekends each month and that's it.  Not even every other weekend so he ends up getting screwed out of 3 weeks just this year.  For example, in the month of May, if he had EOW he should have his son on May 29th.  But because of this parenting plan, he has to wait until June 5th to get him. 

I know his plan is to try and get custoday in a year and 3 months when the oldest is 18.  He thinks the mom will just give in then since she is losing her childcare provider.  But his son will be 12 then and I'm not so sure.  I'm thinking he should try to modify now, and at least get EOW and at least one day during the week.. every week.  It is too hard on his son (and him) to go so many weeks without each other.  Watching his son hide yesterday and not want to get in the car was one of the saddest things ever.  In everything I've read, it looks like changing an existing parenting plan is not that easy in my state but I'm new to this.  So, if anybody could help with a place to start, a good attorney for father's rights or any advice... it would be greatly appreciated!  Thank you!

[4honor]

OK. There are counties in WA that are about as "old boys club" as can be, while others are at the other extreme and border on feminist fanny kissing in the extreme. DH's divorce was in Whatcom county. We dealt with not only the old boys' club -- even with female judges -- but with Whatcom county we also ran into a resistence to any attorney from another county.

BF can get a minor modification which cannot add more than 24 overnights more per year (I think it's 24). This is likely the least expensve way to increase time, BUT then you can't change for the next 2 (or is it 3?) years except for abuse or other unfitness of the other parent. It would help in the short term, but may be selling out and if you put together your case, you can always default to a minor modification if things go poorly.

In WA you need a change in the circumstances of the CHILD or the non-moving parent to get a major modification. So you  (I say you but mean your BF)will have to show a detriment to the child that has occurred SINCE THE LAST ORDER WAS PUT IN PLACE. For instance, if I was in your position, I would be seeking a therapist for some family counseling that would be available during the time BF has his child. You need to address the child's distress about going home, and how BF can help him deal with his fears, and discomfort and the possibility of changes. You might even get more information from child about what is going on at his home that is causing his hiding... a little extreme in my opinioin for just a neglectful mother.

Take 6-12 months and build your case. IF BF thinks a compete change in custody is warranted, you will likely need about $20,000.00 at least to go through court. Start saving the money now. It took us $12000 to get an order clarified to "every other weekend effective X date" from a poorly written order stating "twice a month".