Mom wants to move our kids 3000 miles away...Help?

[Rekinom]

Hello all. I am new to this board and am hopeing you all might offer some insight.

My ex-wife of 6 months has recently announced to me that she is taking our four young (9,6,4,2) children to New Jersey for the summer. We currently reside in Portland Oregon. She has sole custody, our divorce was co-petitioned, there were no contentious issues. We both agreed to the terms of the divorce. Problem with the whole deal is that she is liquidating all of her and the childrens belongings and driving across the country with no hard plan for return. She says she will return when she has the means.

I mean to sue for custody.

Any advise?

~CS

[ocean]

Do you have summer vistation?? Why is she going to NJ? Does she have family there? If you have visitation weeks for the summer, I would tell her you will keep the children for your court ordered time and she can go to NJ.

[Rekinom]

Well, visitation is weekends at this point. I am not sure what it will be. Her sister lives in NJ. She has 3 children by two fathers and has had several abortions to keep the number at three. Not a very savory type, if you know what I mean.

I am going to file papers tommorrow to sue for custody, we will see where it gets me. I am not sure what my chances are. Even if I win it is a pretty crappy situation for the kids, as their mom will be at the other end of the nation.

~CS

[Fobbed-Fodder]

Oregon MOVE AWAY CASES

Teel-King & King, 149 Or App 426 (1997); Duckett & Duckett, 137 Or App 446 (1995); Gautier & Gautier, 58 Or App 510 (1982); Willey and Willey, 155 Or App 352 (1998).


Check this out
http://www.divorcenet.com/states/oregon/or_faq05/view

[Ref]

for DH when his ex pulled the same crap. Guess when she came back? NEVER! It has caused terrible fights over visitation for the past 10 years.

I don't know anything about Oregon law, but I would see if they have an emergency order to keep the children in the state...like NOW!! I would also get an attorney. Boy oh Boy, it would be a bizillion times better for DH and SD right now if he just shelled out the cash for a good lawyer when all this happened.

Do it now. Many judges see the best interest of the children to maintain the same schools..etc. You have a fighting chance.

Also, try to keep yourself as professional as possible. Comments about abortions and the such wont help you, only hurt you. It will look like you are bitter. (you are allowed to be, just not allowed to show it) If she is anything close to as wacky as DH's ex, she can show the court what a nutjob she is without your help.

Good Luck and JUMP ON IT

Ref

[justwantstobeadad]

I would in the least start by sending her a certified letter telling her you do not agree to let the children leave the state! I would then get a lawyer to file an petition for emergancy relief. This will at least get infront of a judge quicker that way. Whatever you do dont let her take them out of state. You will have little or no chances to get them back to oregon. If it was me I might even consider finding a place for them to "GO" during a time I had them.  This might cause some legal issues for you but if that is the only way to get infront of a judge quick to protect my children...well I would do it! Who knows what might become of your children if she moves away... and your children being that small would not even know you in 6 months...how sad for them, she should have her head examined!
PS. This is what I would do I am not telling you what to do!
Good luck!

[joni]

See if you can file a restraining order to keep her from leaving the state until the case is decided.  She's a flight risk.  Once she leaves it'll be very difficult to get her back once she's set up roots across the country.

[kitten]

 If it was me I might even consider finding a place
>for them to "GO" during a time I had them.  This might cause
>some legal issues for you but if that is the only way to get
>infront of a judge quick to protect my children...well I would
>do it!

Do NOT find a place for them to "GO"!  This "might" cause legal issues for you is an understatement!!!!
File an emergency restraining order to keep her in the current county ASAP!  TODAY!  Once she leaves, you won't see them again.  Please do not be passive here and do not trust her.  Make no agreements with her verbally or otherwise.  EVERYTHING needs to go through the courts from now on, everything needs to be legal.  Do not let her manipulate you.  As soon as she finds out you intend to fight the move, she will say anything.  Get a really good fathers advocate attorney and stay one step ahead of her if possible.  Trust me on this.  My bf lost his 3 small children to a move away.  They also were moved 3000 miles away and so far, the "visitation" has been prevented by the vindictive mother and looks like it will be once again for summer.  He has not seen his babies in 4 months.  Do your research and be proactive.  Look to the many heartbroken fathers here for guidence, they can help.  

[4honor]

Get this into court ASAP. It is harder to fight a move away after it happens. Courts forgive move away CP's all the time, even if they would not necessarily  have given premission to move in the first place.

We had a situation where BM was going to move to IL from WA. It was still a rumor when we took it before the court. We still couldn't get a court to give us a restraining order (though the judge told her that since she denied having any plans to move that she had better file the appropriate papers with the courts in the appropriate time should those plans change) he did warn her that she had better not move anyway because.... and the judge left the result up to her imagination.  After the fact, BM decided not to move - she broke up with her fiancee.

[Genie]

that could at least put a stay on her leaving till the time of the hearing.  If you don't have an attorney for this one, I would suggest you get one.  If you let her leave willingly, you won't be able to get her to come back. If she stays long enough to establish residency in NJ you will be screwed.

If they allow her this "vacation" I would ask for visitation to be modified since you will not be able to do the end of weekend set up. In that sense, she is going to be denying you visitation. She just can't go on an extended vacation with no thought to your time with the children already set up.  I would ask for all or 1/2 of the Summer. If 1/2 make it the later 1/2 and state this way it will ensure the children can start school in Oregon when they are supposed to.

I really don't know if any of this will work but I also don't think you have a chance in getting changed either.  You need to get it on paper when you will see the children over the Summer and try to insist on a return date for this "vacation". Anything to show she is trying to move and sneak around the system. Does OR have any sort of move away law and procedure that needs to be followed with permission from court? If so, you can try using that also.