I need a lawyer to help w/reduction in support!!!..No. Va.

[DCSEbacklog]

Brief History Synopsis:

1995 - exGirlfriend runs to Kentucky while pregnant with second child.  No forwarding info, no contact whatsoever.  (We weren't really together, just messed around off and on), (she was very jealous and would assault any female friends I had, rather intimate or plutonic).  So when she saw we weren't going to be together eventhough she was pregnant with our second she stated, "It's the total package or nothing, if we can't have a relationship then you won't see your kids".  She got married after being in Kentucky for less than a year to an abusive husband with whom she had two more children.  She would remain married to him for five years.  (This guy apparently would make my sons watch him beat her...not to mention had them watching porn at 3 and 5), not sure if he physically/sexually abused my sons. I, too, would have other children; three of them, one in 98, one in 2001 and one in 2004.  I got married in 2000 and am still with my wife.

2002 - She returns to Virginia...I ran into her in the parking lot coming out of my childrens daycare.(can you say stalker?)  I was excited to see my sons.  I was wide open with my information, schedule, and anything else she needed to stay in touch.  She told me her story and I was compassionate and willing to do whatever to help.  Little did I know it was manipulation...the whole time she had the Child Support thing going, she had already been to court and began filing paper work against me.  All this going on behind my back while I'm helping her.  Anytime I would try and get time with my sons, she always had something to do, eventhough, at this time I was putting my family on hold to help her.  My children welcomed them and now it seemed she was using my sons as bait to get favors.
After about six months of that I'm served.  I got a Godsend of a Lawyer who represented me free and long story short got me non-custodial joint custody.

2003 - 2007 -The problems would increase she was bitter that she couldn't just keep the kids and hit me up for money.  She would sabotage my visits, and just make it difficult to gain access to the children.  She would schedule things during my time so my visit was spent running her errands.  I filed a violation and won, when opted to give her six months, (like an idiot) I said no and dropped the charge.  The judge let it go just as long as it didn't happen again.  But it did, it happened again and again.  I really couldn't do anything.  She had this web of alienation going just pushing me further and further from my kids...never trying to build a relationship.  Eventually, she would stop letting me see them all together and said, " just pay the child support, the more you try and see them the more your going to be in court".  So she would claim poverty and I would agree to pay the max amount, (I don't know what I was thinking, I just wanted all the fighting to be over.  You don't understand, this had been going on for five years at this point...constantly in court, I kept losing jobs because I'd have to take so much time off, not to mention the toll it was taking on my immediate family).

Currently, I am not seeing my sons.  Communication is severed again, I don't attempt and she doesn't attempt any type of communication.  My youngest son with her has been arrested twice.  My oldest son is currently going through court proceedings after she assaulted him and was hauled off to jail.  All the while she is still able to remain with them in her custody.  Child support has been in arrears since the loss of my job and now they are threatening to take things like Liscense and freedom.  Times are hard my family is struggling, while she is living the highlife bringing in $65K under the table.  I got help from salvation army for christmas/she bought all four of her children their own game...X-Box, Wii, P3, and some hand held thing.  Just so you get the idea.  My sons have been doing whatever they want.  She has been leaving them home alone since they were five.  Now they are 15 and 13, all I can do is hope they turn out fine.  I've committed my time to healing the wounds this whole ordeal inflicted on my wife and three nuclear children.

Problem #1 (2002) - Fairfax court allows children to remain living with her.

• her entire life up to that point was unstable.
  
• she is addicted to crack (I didn't play this card in court, never put her down or anything like that)
  
• my boys were living in a hostile environment and being left home alone

Problem #2 - (2008) DCSE's info is inaccurate. 

• the split isn't balanced--she quit the only job that carried benefits and a salary to wait tables...(obviously because tips aren't traceable...she gross' $55K but only claims $20K a year/I pay as if I make 55K and provide health insurance
  
• Lost my job 8/07 still paying same amount (I petitioned the court for a reduction...never got served, but; court claims they gave it a date and no one showed up so they denied the reduction.  (the mother has never missed a court date...she wasn't there, DCSE wasn't there, and I wasn't there) 
  
• The amount has been growing for almost a year now..they've gotten money but not regularly.
  
• DCSE still kept my taxes EVERY year even when I wasn't in arrears
  
• DCSE threatening to take freedom and liscense

NOTE:  I love all my kids.  I am the furthest thing from a dead beat, all hands on.  Church going and an upstanding citizen.  I am getting the short end of the stick and could use some help.  I came across this site while looking for the housing assistance program SPARC.  Everything happens for a reason and I am sure this must be an answer to all those prayers.