DH CS increased after review, and we have 3 babies together, HOW and WHY?

[mommyonhawaii]

DH was paying $550, his ex went by a very old W2 to get this amount.  At that time in 2006 it was half his check, it was doable because I worked full time and was pregnant with our son.  SD lives out of state, we pay for her transportation, pay CS while she visits and for her needs and care while she's with us.  Oh, our state is Hawaii, BM is in California and that's the court CS goes through.  SD visits us about 10% of the time since it costs so much to get her.  SD has a $6000 private school tuiton, religious school.  About another $5000 in dance classes.  She is 8 years old.  BM makes about $90, 000 a year, DH makes about $40, 000.  I don't work, we are common law.  And now we have 3 boys under 20 months.  The 9 month old twins are preemies, and it looks like one's going to need some therapy because of developmental delays.

So our situation is this.  DH had CS reviewed, and it was increased to $625.  I am currently in Washington as DH lost his job in Utah and went back to Hawaii to his old job.  He was going to save up and bring our three sons and myself there after a few months.  Then we were going to be officially married and get SD in the summer.  Well what with DH paying the van payment and the outlandish CS, it looks like he'll be left with just enough money to have a Top Ramen feast everyday.  He'll never be able to see SD or to get us.  It is almost unfeasible for me to work, as most of my check would go to childcare, which is why I SAH mom to the boys.

We thought the amount before was very unfair, as BM makes much more than he does.  We were counting on it being lowered, but how could it be raised?  We are devasted, and he is sick to his stomach over this.  BM went to Vegas 4 times last year, Hawaii twice, and visiting family in other states a couple other times.  Each time required plane travel, and other travel expenses.  SD has commented to us that we should be sending her mommy and her money because they only have a couple thousand in the bank, when we have nothing and live paycheck to paycheck.  We can't hardly afford clothes for the babies, luckily realitves buy for them or I get hand me downs.  DH will send along extra money for dance recital dresses that are worn once at $50 bucks each in addition to CS.

We don't think BM is using the money soley for SD, but for frivilous things.  What can we do?  Because of some issues, DH couldn't make his court appearance or arrange for the phone interview.  He did call and I'm not sure if they went ahead with it anyways.  The papers said he needed to be there to contest the other parent's statement, and maybe they took her statement and increased it?  I have no doubt she pushed for as much as she could get, stating the outrageous costs for SD's school and activiites.  It is just unfair, how can a guy be expected to live on what's left over?  Even if he was by himself?  Let alone support a family?

[ocean]

For your sanity you need to separate the things...
CS is based on percentage of your DH salary. Go to the website and input the numbers. In my state it is 17% for one child. Additonal children in many states do not count. The only thing you may get credit is travel for SD if the mother moved...sounds like he moved though?
What BM does with the money is up to her. No laws say otherwise. Do you have to pay for her private school? Since the mother has a good job and she is able to travel does not mean your husband should get out of paying his share. I understand you think that you pay a lot but many people on these boards pay a lot more. The amount sounds right according to the guidelines.
It is a hard pill to swallow when you do not have control of where the money is being spent but between the dance, school, clothes, housing your SD is being taken care of.
The only thing you may be able to do is get the percentage of medical and extra costs in line with the differences in salary. (medical costs split 70% 30%...or something like that?)

[Sherry1]

Here is a California Child Support Calculator:
http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/childsupport/california/ (http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/childsupport/california/)

If you plug in $3,333 for your DH (based on $40,000 year salary) AND
$7,500 for the ex ($90,000 year salary)

Child support comes out to $646 so the calculation you indicate below is accurate and not outlandish.  I am not saying that it is fair, but the calculation is accurate.  However, this is based on zero percent parenting time.  If you plug in 10% for the child being with you, child support was around $450 per month.  About the best you can do is to file and try to get his parenting time factored into the equation. 

I am guessing that your DH is the one that moved away from the child.  Typically, the moving party becomes responsible for transporation to see the children. 

There are no requirements that she has to spend the child support on the child.  Her lifestyle has no bearing on child support. 

Some states will take into consideration additional children by a second family, some states do not.  Your DH having 3 babies all under 20 months may or may not have an impact on child support, he chose to have a subsequent family.  Even if he can get it reduced with more children, he will be financially obligated to support his daughter from his first relationship.

You do not mention how old your DH's daughter is, so I am not sure how long he will be paying child support, but in California it ends at 18 or when the child graduates from high school.  I think he should immediately not send any additional money.  He is not required to send the money if he is paying child support so he needs to stop. Forget the dance recital dress, forget about anything else, just send child support and no extras!

Good luck!

[mmaines]

"child support" enforcement run by the states is a racket.
aka RICO
it is a money laundering business - and it's really big business for the states!
Child support is a FEDERAL debt - suprise!
and it is "administered" by the states - they receive BILLIONS from the FEDs to administer the programs and pay all those socialist workers your tax dollars.
WAKE UP!
child support has nothing to do with CHILDREN - it's ALL about the money and HOW MUCH the state can claim as a "debt" to the FEDs in exchange for MORE FED $$$