Non Compliant Spouse

[drags]

I have a custody agreement in place which says that my three children are to be with me one day of the week on my non weekend weeks. My ex wife has not supported this agreement and has stood behind the issue that my children don't want to come over to my house one day out of the week and as such I only see my kids every other week for 3 and a half days. I recently went back into private mediation with her and was awarded more days but she does not agree with the recommendation and is forcing me to go back to court to get my current agreement modified. My immediate question is how do I get her to cooperate with the current agreement when she has the kids smack between us and they feel as though I am being unresonable because I want to have more time with them. There ages are 14,12 and 9. I feel that I am powerless and I know that I am frustrated. I would appreciate some advise. Can I or should I use law enforcement in my situation.

[gemini3]

We went through the same thing, and because my husbands agreement just said "one day during the week" and not a specific day we had a very hard time getting it enforced.

What we did was keep a record of my husbands requests for time with the children during the week.  They were either e-mailed or on a recorded phone call (our state is one party).  He always said something to the fact of "I would like to have the children on X day at X times.  If that doesn't work for you, please suggest an alternate time."  When my husband finally went before the judge he produced a record that showed he had requested time every week for over eight months and she had not agreed once.  The judge read her the riot act, changed the visitation plan to include a specific day and times, and told her if she didn't comply she would be in contempt of court.  We haven't had a problem since.

There is a letter on this site that you can use.  Don't let her get away with keeping your kids from you.  They probably say they don't want to go because they know that's what mom wants, and it's easier to go against you then against her.  Attempt to exercise your visitation and keep a record of her denials.

Also check your state laws.  In some states visitation inteference can be justification for a change in custody.  If that's the case in your state, you may have a sufficient change in circumstance to warrant a custody modification.

[MixedBag]

Drags -- be careful about your wording...K?  mediators can not do anything besides get the two of you to communicate in an effort to come to an agreement.

Was the mediation court ordered?  So that you already have something with the courts going on?

If not -- I strongly suggest you do as was suggested -- because NO time is definitely not what the court order says.

If you physically live close to the kids, then I don't think you're being unreasonable.

I too had to take a different subject where the law said "reasonable" and the EX#2 NEVER did it, and put it forth to the judge.    Sometimes, it's just what you have to do.