visitation

[shooter]

I was told by my lawyer today that I probably won't get joint because the mother of my son would not  allow it. I am trying to get a schedule and holiday visits. Have not been to court on this yet as she keeps trying to get visits to stop for one reason or another. visitation suspension was denied today for the 3rd time It's only temp right now.  Why is my lawyer saying this? I am in Illinois

[gemini3]

I have no idea why he is saying this.  You should ask him.  If he has some concrete reasons - like you live too far away from each other, for example, then you'll have something to work with. 

If all he can tell you is "mother won't allow it" get another attorney.  I mean - isn't that why you hired him???  It sounds like he might be a status quo guy - he'll walk your case through court without make any real effort, and then collect the big bucks at the end.  You don't need that.  Try to find a lawyer that is passionate about father's rights.

[Davy]

Just FYI ... there is a post on the Illinois State forum from yesterday indicating that Illinois is against joint custody.    I suspect this is PUBLIC POLICY and not by legal statue (clearly unconstitutional).

In addition to finding a passoniate FR attorney (not one that merely markets him/her self), seek a lawyer outside of the good ole boy status-quo-promoting judicial circle that won't hesitate to file and act on a recusal motion at the first hint of bias and prejudice against a father and his children.  These attorneys are usually "rule of law" types that PRACTICE LAW rather than social policy.  I found them to be less expensive and they enjoy what they do....winning for children.

This endeavor will be harder to do near Cook county but try (stephen something) in Dupage or (howard f) in Sangamon.  You may receive a "1980's Davy in Texas" cost reduction.   

[awakenlynn]

I would definately look for a new attorney.  "mother won't allow it" is a joke.  I would try and make sure that this attorney did not interview with ex before taking your case.  That happened to us when the jurisdiction moved to TX, we were both interviewing attorneys at the same time.  Luckily the attorney ex picked was in charge of a LARGE firm and it was handed off to a lesser attorney.  I have to say though once this attorney actually MET and dealt with ex, lol, she was very sympathetic to my hubby.  Her screaming (in a conference room) could be heard through 2 rooms and the courtroom.  Sadly, she had brought daughter to court with her and she could hear it too.

It is becoming somewhat easier for courts to start with joint custody if all things are equal, but it will depend on alot of issues--how far apart do you all live? how old are the kids? and so on.

But courts are different in every county even within the same state.  My husband's case started there and he got good visitation, he was in the military and the case was in 93, a time before joint visitation really was thought about.  My brother-in-law's case was about 2002 and he actually got custody of his daughter, he was able to show he was the better parent. Both cases were in the same county.

Awakenlynn

[shooter]

I just read on a site that joint custody is awarded in only 20% of cases, the mother is awarded sole in 70%, and the father awarded sole 10% in Illinois. The judge awards sole if there is even a hint that the parents do not get along. Said it saves being brought back into court later if there is something that cannot be agreed upon. Guess if she doesn't want to get along, she gets to chose. I will ask for it anyway.

[gemini3]

Don't give up!!

If you think that the reason for awarding sole is to avoid you two coming back to court, suggest a conflict resolution plan as part of your parenting plan.  That way it shows you are not looking to end up back in court.  I don't know if it will work, but it's worth a shot.

Good luck!

[awakenlynn]

I agree and get the order as well-dined as possible especially dates, times, who is transporting, exactly what issue is taken care of how, that way the more defined you get it the easier you can show the courts what is going on.

And its never to late to start documenting.  Double check if IL is a one-party or 2 party state with recording calls, otherwise let what calls you can go to voicemail and save those, do what communicating you can in emails.  document all phone calls and requests. Everything!  Try to do exchanges in a neutral place  (request a particular spot in the court order) and have it taped (public domain).  Keep records of everything even now to help show her behavior and how you are trying to work with her but still stand up for your rights as a parent