Unmarried w/ limited visitaion

[yankedaround]

 
I have had visitation with my son on tuesday and thursday day and over night for a little over a year. None of this is court ordered, which I am reminded of constantly by my ex. She now has threatened to not allow me to see my son at all. I pay my child support which is court ordered and even help out with extra money for a more expensive daycare of her choosing. She gets bent out of shape when I dont have the extra money to help her out with daycare ( have my own bills). Child support is the only thing that is ordered.

I am scared that I will lose him. I am also scared that I wont get court ordeded custody similar to what I have now. I dont just want to be the every other weekend dad. Ill take what I get but not seeing him often will break my heart. Is it likely that I will be able to get the same visitation from a court order?

[ocean]

Keep track for as long as you can remember of all the times you had him. Go to the courts and ask for a visitation plan with dates, times, weekends, summers, birthdays, holidays, father's day etc..
There are some plans on this site you can copy and fix to your needs. Look up your states parenting plans and see what they usually had out in court. You need to have it written down and court ordered if she does not agree anymore so she does not play those games with you.

If you do this yourself, write in their "father would like parenting plan that has been in effect from x date to be court ordered, which is the following..Tues (times)  thurs (times) every other weekend (times), this holiday schedule, and xx amount of summer weeks"

Put who pick ups child and drops off. What happens when child is in school? Long school holidays? It is VERY hard to change this plan once it is court ordered. Get as much info in their as you can so you never have to go back.

Good luck!

[yankedaround]

thank you very much.

[Kitty C.]

Also, courts are big on 'maintaining status quo', meaning whatever you've been doing they would prefer to continue.  So if you can prove (because it's a distinct possibility that your ex will deny you've ever had visitation) the parenting time you've had for the past year, that will go a long way to getting it court ordered.  Gather as much proof as you can...pictures work great, especially if they have a date on them, or receipts for places you've gone or things you've bought for your son while you had him, but generally anything that proves you spent time together.  And if it means getting family members to testify to family gatherings, that's a possibility, too.