Irratic Mother Issues ....

[kwfinkbeiner]

Looking for a reasonable attorney in Edmond, OK. Any suggestions?

Situation:

• Never been married, lived together in Edmond, OK
  
• Share two children (2 yr and 4 yr)
  
  
  • Mother has two additional older children of her own
• 2 yr old may not be biologically mine (I am on the birth cert)
  
• 4 yr old is mine (I am not on the birth cert)
  
• No other legal documents have been completed or filed

Mother smokes weed and I suspect other drugs based on her irratic behaviours (strong mood swings, anger, etc). While broke up, but still living together, I caught the mother having sex with two other people in the livingroom with children in the next room sleeping. Afterwards when I kicked the people out and she attacked me. No charges were pressed against her. She continues with verbal abuse to the children and myself.

Mother has moved out of the house with her 2 older children (who is left with grandparents and she tries to get me to take them).

I have my (our) two younger children. I provide 100% care for them, mother does not want them and visits the children irregularily. And yet, she states that I will not ever have full custody.

[trystero]

Dang it!  Sounds like an interesting situation!

Don't think I've thought much about custody issues without the addition of usual divorce stuff...but here is what I think as a Dad, not an attorney.....

I think what you want a lawyer to do is file what is called a parenting plan here in Colorado.  Not sure if its the same in OK or not.  Its a document that spells out who has primary custody (e.g. place where kids spend majority of their time) and who is the non-custodial parent.

It then schedules out who has what time w/kids.  Based on your description, I think you're wanting 100% custody with liberal visitation (but no over nights for mother).

What you will need in addition to your testimony is evidence.  Start document that snot out of the situation.  Pictures/video, I got a digital voice recorder from Kmart for $30 that can download right to my PC to record conversations.  Depending on how much she really wants to fight you on this, you may need some kind of independent assessment of the living conditions....

A few things that do bear merit....judges don't like to disturb the status-quo for the children.  Document and get some witnesses who can say how long the kids have been staying exclusively with you....the longer the better because it shows stability for the children...

Sounds like you do not pay any support, but if you have the kids 100% then there would be no support required.  Its usually the $$$ that makes for the fight....at least in my experience.

[ocean]

A lawyer can get you emergency temporary custody (usually in a day or two). This way the mother can not take child. You can say mother abandoned children with you. Get a letter from daycare/doctors that you are the one that is there every day.
You need proof of the drugs...like the other poster stated..get proof NOW while you can. You can do a paternity mail in test on your own if you want to find out if the kids are really yours.
How long have you had the children in your care? The longer the better...

[gemini3]

Your first order of business should be to file an emergency motion for temporary custody determination.  That will ensure that the children will live with you and set up some sort of visitation schedule until a full hearing can be had.  Paternity should be established in the full hearing.

Oklahoma is a "one-party" state.  That means that recorded conversations are admissable in court as long as one party to the conversation (you) knows it's being recorded.  That being said - this is your biggest weapon.  Record EVERY conversation you have with her.  Carry a digital voice recorder for when you see her in person.  If you have an iphone there is an app that will let you record up to 30 minutes of conversation and then download the file directly to your comupter.  You can record your phone conversations with her with this:  http://www.spoofcard.com/ (http://www.spoofcard.com/)  It allows you to record phone calls that you make, and then save the file to your computer.  This could go a long way for you to prove that she is unfit.

I would also start keeping a daily log of important events - whether she called the kids, saw the kids, anything crazy she might have done, etc.  Keep it neutral in tone.  When you're up for a long court battle it will help you and your attorney show behavior patterns.