Something NEW I Learned About Restraining Orders

[CDAN99]

 A restraining order used to prevent a parent from seeing his own children AUTOMATICALLY includes that parent's relatives. Ex can have dad sent to jail if anyone of his relatives tries to make contact with the children (even though this is not in the RO). It is AUTOMATICALLY implied says the judge. Seems like they can put dad in jail for almost anything someone else does. I couldn't believe my ears when I heard it. Furthermore, it is IMPOSSIBLE to get a RO lifted without an attorney. Even with an attorney, it is virtually impossible. No proof of wrongdoing is even needed to keep the RO in place. Judge will just say the the RO can be used to prevent the father from ever trying to contact his own children without the court's permission. It is amazing how the system SO EASILY drives a parent out the children's life and keeps him out. They are guilty of PAS just as much as the mother in this case.

[ocean]

It is called No Third Party contact. The box is probably checked off on the restraining order paper. No one can contact the other party in their behalf and harass them about the situation.

[CDAN99]

I have all the RO papers. There is no mention of this and no third party check box. It prevents other family members from sending the kids anything simple such as a birthday card or Christmas present without sending dad to jail.

[ocean]

Is it in the family court order?
Does dad have visits now? We had one and it stated exactly how to get kids (the order is against mom). Visits remain the same and she has to stay in house and not have any contact with us. She had a family member contact us and she was charged again under the no 3rd party contact.
Is the restraining order through family court OR criminal court?

[CDAN99]

Yes, it is family court and dad has no visits. False allegations and a TRO many years ago is the reason. TRO turned into a RO since the court decided it could simply continue a TRO indefinitely and at their own descretion without any valid reason. Children are getting older and have no interest in bonding with their father after years gone by. They feel abandoned by dad and will not believe in anything else. They simply don't recognize their father as dad and refuse to do so. Part of that has to do with mom's live-in BF of many years, but now he is gone. It mainly has to do with all the negative stories and lies that CP mom keeps drilling in the children's head. At this stage, their is nothing a father can do to see his children. The system will make dad solely pay for a GAL which he cannot afford as the next step. All a GAL will do is say that the children are old enough to decide on their own after dad if forced to pay several thousands of dollars above and beyond an astronomical CS award. My experience is that the court appointed social workers look the other way when it comes to PAS. I am sure that GALs will too. I've been in the fight for well over 10 years now, nothing changed for the better.

The intent of my intial post was not to find a solution, but rather as something others here may learn by..

I always say: Isn't it amazing that the system has absolutely zero programs available to help fathers see their children? Of course because they are in the business to do the opposite under the disguise labelled as "BEST INTEREST".

[ocean]

Can dad ask for court ordered counseling with children? Then he can have their ear without BM and can start to dispute some of the lies...Depends on the therapist. If he tries, go see some and see if you can get a good name that will deal with the situation ..then ask the court to order counseling with that person until the therapist feels counseling in no longer needed.

[CDAN99]

Already tried that. Counseling or as the court termed it as 'treatment' was the initial step. To make a long story short, The court ordered that all parties to follow the social worker's treatment plans. This went on for over 2 years. Once the children decided not go to treatment, the mother decided not to schedule treatment visits. At the same time, the social worker says he can't order treatment for the kids if they don't want to go. So I was left with no one willing to follow the court order. I ended up filing a motion of contempt of court because treatment was not being scheduled. As soon as I did, the mother paid the social worker off to file a patient discharge report, thereby officially ending treatment. I explained it all to the judge, but she said there was no contempt of court. How could there not be? Only in Family Court.

So that brought me to the present phase. The only way dad has a chance of ever seeing his children, he has to solely pay for a GAL on top of astronomical CS. Funny how that doesn't fit into the CS equation. That makes it impossible to pay. No government assistance programs for NCPs either. Plenty of assistance programs for CPs though! Doesn't matter anyway, kids are at the age where they would tell the GAL that they don't want to continue and the court would probably agree. It all comes down to how PAS is very difficult to deal with especially when the court appointed cronies purposely look the other way.