Looking for advice; child support & child custody issue

[kodiak]

Hello everyone!

I am new to this forum and I am looking for some advice. First let me say that the mother of my child and I both reside in Chicago, IL. The BM and I were never married. My daughter was born on 08/06/2002. Ever since then the mother and I had an agreement for child support and visitation. This agreement never went through the courts and therefore I never pursued my legal paternity and rights were never established. I personally thought that the MB and I could work this out on our own. I recently received a letter from The Department of Child Support Enforcement stating that I have to come to a hearing and that they are pursuing a child support order against me.  The reason why I think Public Aid is doing this is because my daughter receives Public Aid for medical insurance. The BM swears up and down that she did not initiate anything. Being that the mother and I are (were) on good terms, I had told her lets take our agreement (child support and visitation) in front of a judge and have the courts legalize the order so Public Aid will stop coming after me. Well... all of a sudden she didn't feel "comfortable" sighing anything. So told her that my only option (because I refuse to go through the Public Aid hearings) will be to take her to court, and when I do, I will go for Joint Custody.

I guess my question is; how hard it is too get Joint Custody not ever being married?

And does anyone have any advice on how I should proceed.  

Thanks

[SadStepMom]

I am no expert on this, so check into everything I say, but I am pretty sure that if your daughter is on Public assistance, that they (the state) will go after child support and you will be paying the state instead of your ex.

I think it is a bad idea to miss the public aid hearings, who knows what they will decide if you aren't there.

[smtotwo]

They will find you as the father and order support at an amount they decide by default!!

Either have a paternity test done to positively show your the father or
show up at the hearing asking for a paternity test.  Even if your POSITIVE this is your child you may find out later that she screwed around and your paying support for a child thats not yours!

Also do you have proof of support paid?  Money order receipts, canceled checks?  If you don't they can ask for back support as well.

You should really speak with an attorney, even if just for a consult.

[joni]

the first thing you need to do is to find out if this child is yours.  for about $100, you can swab a cheek and send it to a lab.  no one has to know until you get the results.  //www.paternityexperts.com/forensic.htm

the second thing is you do need to go to that hearing and get it continued until you can find an attorney or whatever excuse you can use to postpone it.

thirdly, don't trust mom entirely and don't let her know that you don't trust her.

lastly, since you weren't married, in IL, sole custody is automatically awarded to mom based on the miracle of her giving birth.  so I would make nicey, nice with mom and get her to a mediator or arbitrator or whatever you need to do to get into writing a) joint legal custody and b) an arrangement for child support.  in IL, you pay a flat % of your pay so it is what it is.

and really lastly, get your kid off of public aid and pay for health insurance either thru your work or thru the state at //www.kidcareillinois.com.  once public aid establishes you as the 'daddy', you'll be repaying the state for all the aid she takes....on top of your child support.

[notthemama]

Obviously, besides having paternity established and confirmed; I suggest that if this child is yours that you prepare to pay the state for child support because it will be reimbursed to the BM.

====

When my fiance and his ex-wife went to court & finalized their divorce, they had an arrangement in which he was making the child support payments to the credit union to pay on her car.  This was in the final divorce decree.  Well when she decided to get food stamps & Medicaid for herself and the kids (although the children were covered by fiance's health insurance), he was relentlessly pursued by the state to pay them.  They did not pursue him because of the Medicaid they were receiving, but it was because of the foodstamps!!!!!!  Of course, he and his attorney tried to get a special exception because he was current and she couldn't get a car at the time; the state decided that she would have to return the car to my fiance and he had to pay the support to the state the next month.

Trust me, she doesn't have to initiate anything with them, they do it on their own.

Granted, all of this happened in Florida - and I don't know how Illinois works, but I can only guess that they are similar in collecting child support when children/mothers are receiving state funded support and or money.