Another Child Custody Going Bad

[reaverme]

Hi All,

My name is Paul and I am currently going thru the divorce process.  I have 2 children, my son 8 and my daughter 5.  My wife had an affair back in Jan and Feb this year and I found out about it at the end of Feb.  I tried with all my might to still make the marraige work but to no avail she did not want to.  I had initiated a divorce on the ground of adultry but then 2 wekks after I did she said she did wanted to try and work things out.  So me being the guilable guy I am I dropped my divorce.  Well 10 days later she initiates divorce on me at no fault.  So since I dropped my case that said that I condoned the adultry and cannot use again.  She moved out into a 2 bedroom apt 2 days before the plimanary court date and we had a verbal aggreement that we would chare custody with the kids.  Well her lawyer told the judge that she moved out with the kids which was untrue because I was still taking care of them as well.  Her lawyer also said I cannot take care of the kids because I am a Drill Sergeant and work to much (which is not true and I had proof).  The short version is we got joint legal but she got physical.  They came up with a schedule to suit her needs and work around her job hours for the times I can see them.  Also back to the 2 bedroom apt thing,  she left me with the 3 bedroom home because she cannot afford it so now she has our kids staying in a 2 bedroom apt where they have bunk bed in the same room.  The jude did tell her she would have to get a 3 bedroom but it was only verbal.  I know she isnt because she is stuck in the lease for a year and on top of that cant afford a 3 bedroom.  I am also having to pay her $850 a month in child support.  My hours with the kids are as follow: Thursday 5pm till 830am Friday to drop of at school, Friday from 5pm till Saturday 11am then i get them the same day at 5pm till 2pm on Sunday.  And that is it.  I dont get to see them on monday, tuesday, or wensday.  I have told her many times it is not the money I care about but having equal time with the kids.  Those kids are my heart and it kills me not to see them everyday.  I ask her to see the kids all the time on her time and she always tells me she has plans(which she doesnt).  Now once the divorce does become final I will get to see the kids anytime I want because she will let me but she will not right now because she wants to make herself look like the primary caregiver so she can continue to get the $850.  It is really about the money for her and I really hate her for that.  Anyways if anyone has any suggestions or comments I would love to hear them.  Oh and I live in Georgia and My previous lawyer sucked so bad he didnt even charge me, but that is how I got in the mess I am in.  So someone please help me if you can.
Thanks.

[MYSONSDAD]

If she managed to get out of adultry into no fault, I would not trust her.

1. TGB's Links Pages - GEORGIA
Links and resources for the State of Georgia.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tgbga.htm - size 7kb - 24 Oct 2003

I would start looking for another attorney familiar with Family Law and get this going. Interview and check their track records with dads.

You might also want to see if there are any Fathers Support groups in your area. They are the best place to go for suggestions and ideas on how you should proceed.

Have you documented everything? Can you provide a paper trail on your children being in your care? Schools, doctors, stuff like that.

Also, post on the Georgia board, every state is different and you should get some much needed info to help you out.

"Children learn what they live"

[dontunderstand]

If it is all about the money to her and it doesn't mean much to you, then why not tell her she will continue to get the CS if you can have the kids (or have them more or however you want to word it)?  I am so tired of these babies being used as a pay check, I know SD is! :(  it is gut wretching to send her back...

[MYSONSDAD]

AMEN, nothing more then a money trial from start to finish. And the kids pay emotionally. This just is not right.

"Children learn what they live"

[reaverme]

The sad thing is I have told her all I want is equal time and custody and I would still pay her money too.  I also took over all debts that we accrued during the marrage so she wouldnt have to struggle by herself.  Lucky thing I did do that because the judge would have said pay more child support but he seen that I took all debts so he went with $850.  She told me she is talking to her lawyer today and they are going to come up with an offer and if I refuse we are going to mediation.  All I can say is all offers are already denied and I hope she is ready to start paying her lawyer the child support money I am paying her.  But dont worry all I will not let the kids suffer.