Trying to Modify 50/50 Custody

[ocean]

The drug test line probably wont fly for others in the house. If you went to trial and proved she is using drugs, SHE may be requested to drug testing until she is clean and every so often after that.

What type of visitation is she asking for? (since she is not taking him at all now??) She probably wants to keep joint physical so you wont come after her for child support after she signs...

[Mom0f3]

She is asking for joint but wants him Tues to Sun every other week even during school.  And she still wants some kind of child support.  My husband offered her during school every other weekend and during the summer every other week to have him Wed to Sun with a two week vacation time to have him as well.  Which in my opinion seems much more reasonable than normal full custody cases.  She doesn't get that my husband would rather have it every other weekend all the time, but I didn't write out the paper that way and at this time he is willing to give her the extra time.  He also has agreed even with full custody that he is not seeking any child support from her at this time.  He just wants to have her help pay any medical that is not 100% covered by our insurrance.

Which also leads to my next question about insurrance.  In the court agreement they have now it is stated that my Husband carry medical insurrance on their son and whatever isn't covered they split 50/50.  Which he does and always has, however she is using medicaid on him and is aware that I take him to his doctors apointments for regular check ups etc.  I have been reading around on the internet that it can be considered medicaid fraud and that the state can come back on you for it to pay them.  Does anyone know if this is true?  She refuses to use the medical coverage we have on him because she doesn't want to pay anything out of her pocket. 

[Shanni]

Yes the state can and will come after her if she getting medicaid for the child.  It is fraud.

[Mom0f3]

I already called the 3rd party line for medicaid and reported our coverage which she has never done.  They'll have the medicaid as secondary.  I would have never known any of this if I hadn't come by it on the internet.

[Mom0f3]

I just wrote out the third proposed plan to the Mother of my SS.  I tried my best to avoid for both my Husband and her to have to resort to him taking her to court for full custody, however with the last plan we sent to her we must have touch a sensitive nerve of hers.  After the first plan she requested a Tues to Sun every other week to keep it at joint physical custody. She offered a lower child support payment of $100 rather than $125 to be negotiable paid out to her.  And wanted a few times changed, not to have to pay any medical as she has medicaid, etc.

On the second plan we sent her, we left my husband to have full physical given the history of usage within the household.  I added into it that the Father would allow for her to get the child for days the school had off (workshops, MLK bday, etc.).  I left it that the Father is requesting no child support at this time.  Of course I added the drug testing which I think is the main thing that set her off.

She got the plan today certified and returned "her changes" to my husband.  And the following is typed out word for word from her paper and a few of these we think are done out of spite. I was looking for a few opinions.

• Joint physical/custodial, period
  
• 40%/60% type time spent year round, thats final. (Aprox) every-other week, Tues to Sun.
  
• (09) My year to have ________ wake here for Christmas. I still have our last agreement on this matter. Again, mom's Christman 09. Dad's in 2010.
  
• Christmas Eve til 7 pm.
  
• Still keep 2 wk extended vacation, on top of reg. schedual.
  
• One emergancy contact outside home, as _______ & I each have communication.
  
• As I am unable to be employed at this time, and will have 40% or more, of ______ time. I will accept %75.00 every other week, for support of _______.
  
• Father to pay all out-of-pocket medical care, if he insists to take ______ to medical treatment facilily that does not accept his state medical plan. Medicade is my half, and I have no out-of-pocket capability.
  
• 2009 is my schedualed year to file state tax return and claim  ________, per original order. (2010 tax season for 2009 year.) This will stay the same as previously agreed.
  
• Any drug testing will not be paid by myself, with 7 days written notice of event; by court order. I also want drug testing administered to ________, _______, and _______, with all expenses, including my testing, paid in full by _________
  
• I will pick _________ up on Sunday, August 2nd, 2009, to resume regular schedule that is currently in place, at 6:00 pm to return Sunday Aug. 9th at 6:00 pm. A child support payment is due August 1st 2009
  
• I am also requesting original child support amount of over 300.00 a month to be back paid to this current date. As you recall, out of kindness, I settled at the decreased amount of 125.00 monthly. However, ______ has been under represented by this amount and should be re-compensated.
  
• It should also be noted that the original order states that is ______ or ______ are to be away from Marqus in excess of 24hrs, the opposite parent recieves first right to his care for that time. _________ has failed to turn ________ care over to me, ten's of times, nearly once a month for several years. He is in contempt. Due to his fathers contenual absence in home life, we may need to make a revised order that is 60%-40% with _________ as full custodian. This clasue will be added to amended order.
  
• I am thinking of adding a hypenated "Smith" to ______ name for a full name of ______ _______ ________-Smith.

I have wrote up the third plan which is what my husband will be fighting for once they make it into court.  The reason she is not working is to be at home with her 4 other Bio kids and 2 step kids and not have to pay out child care.  She has said this herself.  We also agreed to drug testing on us, however all need to be RANDOM and they pay for theirs.  And the whole child support well that is just a joke, after the first plan she said 100 or they could work out something else per month.  She was paid 200-300 dollars by way of a Protection Order while we were in the process of going to court, but my husband only saw the child every other weekend.  That lasted a short time and she offered out the 125 a month to my husband.  The child has been well taken care of and if she asks for help on things such as sports or friends bdays my husband and I help out.  Not to mention what is paid the time we have him.  Lastly the 24 hour deal is for if he needs to get Child Care for the child for a period more than 24 hours.  The child has never had to leave home and is either in my husbands care, my care, or both.  My husband travels for work and at times has to go out of state, some of these times he is gone a couple days or comes back really late and leaves again in the morning.  It all is based on how far he has to drive.

As you can see this is a big jumbo of a mess and the child is right in the middle and she tries to make him feel sorry for her.