I am a stepmother who needs her rights!!

[Momfortwo]

No he has not gone back to court for anything the original court orders are still on file, and according to them she still has the parental control and he is suppose to still be paying child support. I have tried to tell him that she can come back on him, but he just don't seem to won't to listen. My mother worked in Chancery court for years and we have all tried to tell him. We have no idea where she is the last we heard was possibly Las Vegas. I have heard that in our state we can get her for abandonment by just running an ad in the paper at her last known address. I try to tell myself all the time to just leave it alone, but my husband has a dangerous career offshore overseas. I know if something where to happen to him and she thought there would be some money she be knocking on my door. I don't care about the money I just don't won't her to be able to take my son.  I honestly don't even believe she would even put up a fight she has never cared for this kid, she has another son by her second marriage and the father has him. She is some piece of work I have tried and tried to have children and was never able, so he is mine he is all I have. I don't feel like a stepmother I am his mother. Thanks for your advice. 

As long as there is a court order for child support and he's not paying it, he is accruing arrears. 

Arrears that he will have to pay, irregardless of the fact that he has had custody during the time that the arrears were accruing.  All the mother has to do is file to have them paid.  Oh, he will probably get it modified/eliminated once a modification is filed for.  But that won't make the arrears go away. 

And if something were to happen to the father, the mother be able to knock on your door, she would be able to take her son.  Of the two of you, she is the only one with any legal standing.  She could probably do that now, given that the court order says she is the one with parental control. 

Also, you need to recognize that while you may love him like he is your son, he is not your son until you adopt him.  And that can't be done until your husband decides to stop doing nothing (all the while accruing child support arrears that he will have to pay should the mother come after him for it) and takes action to make sure his son is taken care of.