new step-dad acting out

[asof2005]

sorry, i think this is more of a rant than anything....


My husband's BM recently got married to a man she had know for less than a year.  He is not involved with the kids, he doesn't barely even know them.   The problem is, he thinks he is involved in their disputes.  First of all, she has probably never told him the truth about all the stuff she has put my husband's children through.  Now my husband and BM are in a pretty nasty dispute, she lost in court against him recently and is very pissed.  what upsets me is that BM's husband thinks this is his fight.  He gets all crazy when we pick up the kids, he has threatened my husband more than once.   I on the other hand, have been sitting by my husband's side for 4 years silently.  Of course i talk shit with my husband.  But I have NEVER in 4 years said a bad word to her to her face or over the phone.  I NEVER talk bad about her around the kids or to the kids.  I always just tell them that i want whats best for them and for them to be happy.

do we just have to deal with his ridiculous behaviour?  My husband has called the police once to make a complaint.  But technically the step-dad has never hit my husband, just threatened, and screams and calls bad names.  I think he is just trying to defend his wife's honor or something macho like that, but I think he is completely out of hand, and I do not want the kids to witness him putting his fists up at their father.  It just makes me so mad, because obviously if he is going to behave this way, he clearly doesnt care about his new step-children.....

does anyone else have to deal with this?

[Dadto4]

Video record these acts and then motion the court for him not to interfer with BM and BF.

[asof2005]

can i do that without his permission, it is illegal for us to record conversation without consent of the other person involved......

[Mom0f3]

If you are recording his actions then he is aware of what you are doing so because the camera would be in view.

[ocean]

Some ideas:
Record pick-ups... that is allowed...

He can file harassment and get a restraining ordered. Verbal threats , call police and have him charged with harassment.

If you are going back to court in the near future, you can have street side pick-up, meaning BM and step dad will have to stay in house at pick-up and child/ren will come to your car without them. Have it specifically state, children will come out to father and all adults will stay in house. (This way she cant have someone else go out and start trouble).

In the meantime, Ignore, Ignore Ignore...have kids get into car, close door, go. If he calls, refuse to speak to him, hang up. Let it go to voicemail. (Then you can use that tape if needed).

[msme]

We solved this by having the exchange take place in the parking lot of the police station. They record the exchange & are there in a flash if there is an incident. We only had one outburst & after that, she was afraid to mess around.