In the best interest???

[dontunderstand]

So DH went to arbitration with BM.  It was awful and NOTHING was accomplished.  BM managed to put it off long enough to "clean up" her issues. Ha Ha.  It was short lived.  One of the issues is that DH doesn't get his 1 phone call with SD every week, well right before arbitration she SD started calling him, but guess who is no longer calling?  You guessed it!  
Another issue is that we wanted 1st right of refusal since SD is always at her grandparents.  BM stated in arbitration she "did not feel that 'first right of refusal' was wise in their case, due to their ongoing conflict and animosity toward each other, and their lack of communication"  WTF?  All of that is due to her and where in there does it say anything about SD BEST INTEREST??? Ultimately we were denied.  Sad, our system is so sad...
The saddest part is that the arbitrator was a therapist, the same therapist that read a police report out loud (at same session) where 3 different officers stated what BM reported (4th degree assault) COULD NOT AND DID NOT HAPPEN.  BM sat there sighing loudly DH said, "Are you still going to say that I beat you up?" and she told DH, "You did beat me up"  How is she stable? Can't the therapist see how unstable she is???  If she is willing to lie to everyone she comes in contact with, what is she willing to tell SD???

[hagatha]

Don't,

From our experience two things will happen eventually.

First, your SD will begin to catch mom in lies. It could be just little white lies at first, but as she matures and begins to understand the way the world works she will wonder what else mom has been lying about. That is when she will hopefully grow a brain. Then when mom says things about you, and DH she will question if mom is really telling her the truth.

The second thing that will happen is your sd will begin to lie to her mother. That is where they learn to manipulate the parents. All kids play mom off dad. But in adverserial custody situations, kids play the parents off each other for their own agenda. That is where you will have to be strong and determined. If you allow her to engage you in confrontations with her mother you feed into the idea that lying is acceptable.

The Witch



Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!