Custody Evaluation.....Almost 4 months and counting.....

[seansmom]

Before our custody evaluation started I was naturally scared to death of "losing" my child. I wanted to write this for parents who are planning to undergo a evaluation, give them an idea on what to expect. (Please keep in mind this is my own experience, other evaluators might do things differently.) The evaluation started first part of September, I was the first to meet with the evaluator, I told him about my concerns about the other parties ability to co-parent with me, my concerns about his parenting style, and about domestic violence he has done to me. We talked for 1/2 hour, then I had to do the MMPI tests among others, that took me over 3 hours.

Next visit he wanted me to continue to discuss the domectic violence, which I did, shorly after our session started he asked if I would take a polygraph test on the domectic violence issues. I said I would so he gave me the phone number of an examiner he uses. I took the test a week later and passed with flying colors. And yes the polygraph is not admissable in court but the evalutors report IS. ALWAYS tell the truth.

The next three sessions with the evaluator I sat and listened to all my "faults" my spouse had to say about me. Most of which were lies and I told the evaluator they were lies in the calmest manner I could. (If your spouse is vindictive expect this to happen) And I provided DOCUMENTATION to prove most of his lies. Letters from teachers, medical records, credit reports ect. This is very important to evaluators.

Don't expect your evaluator to show emotion.... they have to stay completly nuetruel no matter what you say to them.

My home study was done the end of November by another evaluator. Obviously make sure your house is clean, smoke detectors in every room, food in the cuboards and refridgerator, toys inside and outside and DONT smoke in the house. Most of the time we talked about my spouse. *TIP* dont talk about your spouse in front of the kids, put them in another room and if they come out drop the subject right away! She did talk with my child a little bit. The home study lasted two hours

Dont bad mouth your spouse and seem vindictive, just speak calmly and tell the truth. They will more likely give custody to the parent who will encourage contact with both parents.

My parents/ child "play session" is tomorrow. And then the evaluator wants to talk with my child alone next week. Hopefully after that it will be done and we can wait for his report. So here I am 4 months later and $1,700.00 poorer and it's still not over.

I hope this helps some parents out there. If this has happened to me it can happen to anyone, I've been a great mom who loves her child dearly, but here I am. Hang in there your child is worth it!!