Frustrated as hell!!! VENTING!

[lucky]

So, ysd has a 7 month old little girl who spends nearly every weekend with us due to ysd's work schedule.  From the time ysd went back to work Jan 1st, daddy (loser boy is a better name) will "babysit" (his word) baby while ysd works.  As soon as ysd is home he is totally hands off except for fun stuff, and then not much of that either - too busy playing the xBox or "working" on his "music" (he thinks he's going to have a career as a rapper.  Ysd works from 7am to between 2 & 3pm.  Daddy doesn't get out of bed till 10am or so and leaves baby in her crib unless she is really shrieking.  In fact, he sleeps so sound, I would guess that he doesn't even hear her.  About 3 weeks ago they decided to be "just friends" and see other people even though they would continue living in her apartment together.

Ok, all that aside, a week and a half ago, ysd scared the hell out of us around 11pm on a Wed. night.  We're in bed no later than 10:30 and I'm usually sleeping by 9:30.  She shows up hysterical, baby is freaking out and it turns out that ysd got a text message from an old boyfriend who wanted to chat.  "Daddy" slapped ysd twice, then took her cell phone away to check the messages.  While he had it, ysd picked up baby to comfort baby (baby was scared) and another pic text came in from the old bf.  Daddy came out with the phone and punched ysd - she still had a black eye two days ago.

WE called the police, she made a report and they arrested daddy.  He was in jail for like a week before getting to court and she visited with baby every day.  He got out with conditions - OFP is in place and all that.  Ysd doesn't think that's fair so she's seeing him again.  Along with letting him use the car we JUST sold to her that is still in MY name (he doesn't have a DL either btw).  I let her have it on that.  I also told her that I don't want anything to do with the man because I don't trust him - under oath he agreed to no contact yet he violates that every day, multiple times a day.  She says he's changed.  Oh, PLEASE!  I want to throw up.  He says he's going to get counseling for anger management but has made no efforts to do so while waiting for sentencing.  He's going to wait to see what the court says he needs to do.  Yep, he's changed all right, hasn't he?

She wants to write a letter to the judge requesting the OFP be dropped and the local women's shelter will help her, but in order to do so, ysd must attend a group safety planning session at the shelter.  She wants to do something individual instead because discussing these issues isn't something she does in a group type of thing.  AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I told her that the purpose of the group is for her to interact with other women like herself, and she said "yeah, that's ok".

The only saving grace is that he pled guilty to a gross misdemeanor (it is his 2nd one in MN within 10 years) so the next time he hits her he'll go to prison as it'll be a felony.

His family came from Chicago to Minneapolis then to our town.  I wish he'd go back to either Chicago or Minneapolis - I don't care which because ysd may be making stupid decisions regarding Daddy, but she has already told him she won't leave our town when he brought it up once. 

Anyway, done venting.  Dh is tired of hearing it because he can't do anything either.  We both simply try not to think about it as sad as that sounds.  We can't change anything and when we think about it we worry and get angry with daddy.  Not a fun life - especially since we have plenty of other stuff to worry about.