Problems with a "no interest father"

[Disgustedstepmom]

I have been going to court since March of this year over my 8 1/2 year old daughter. Paternity was established by the time she was a month old. He has failed within the past 8 years to contact me via phone,email, or a simple knock on the door about seeing his daughter. He was just made to pay child support this last Nov. So for 7 1/2 years, he was duty free. He filed courtpapers over visitation this year. He doesnt show up. His lawyer doesnt even show up. Nothing has been done in 7 months and the attorney fees are killing me.
My husband and I have been together for 8 years. Married for 1. This is my daughters dad. She knows of no other. My next court date is tomorow and he is "suppose" to have an answer to whether or not he will sign over his rights to let my husband adopt her. He will do what he usually does and not reply at all. He works 3  or 4 states away and is only in the area for about 10 days every two months. I really could use some advice for my daughters sake. I am trying everything I can so her world does not get turned upside down over this. Or am I being unreasonable?