Houston Dad needs help - Long but pls read

[houstondad]

When my daughter now 2 years and 2 months old was born I stayed home to care for her and worked nights, sleeping 3 hours a day until the weekend. Last May I was fired from my job as a paralegal without explanation. I receieved a phone call from a "friend" at the firm who told me that my now ex girlfriend and the Mother of my child had called and said I was abusing her, our daughter, and her two other children. I have not been able to find a job since, every time I am offered one it is mysteriously withdrawn, you don't have to be a detective to figure out why.

One week after I was first fired she moved out of the home we shared while I was away for the day. It took me two months to track her down, she did not contact me and her phone numbers and email addresses were changed. When I knocked and she answered the door she immediately called the police and told them I had threatened to kill her and her children. The police told me not to return or I would be arrested for tresspass.

It is now 6 months later and I have still not seen my daughter. I still cannot find a job and I have run out of everything, I have about 10 days before I am evicted from the slum I am forced to live in and I am surviving by donating plasma for $15.00 every other week. I have located the daycare where my daughter is and it is my intention to take custody of her as is my legal right, no court intervention has occurred at this point.

My first choice would be to work out a joint parenting plan with my ex but it just not possible, under these circumstances she is clearly better off with me until her mother gets help. Perhaps at some point in the future it might be possible to work out something with her mother when I am solidly back on my feet again.

I went to the court house and looked over her divorce proceedings from her previous marriage and what I found was disturbing. She made allegations of abuse both physical and sexual against her ex husband, none of which was proven. She was ordered by the court to undergo a psychological evaluation and the psychologist found her not to be credible. She is to the best of my knowledge under the care of a psychiatrist and takes medication for depression, anxiety, and paranoia.

It would seem from this that I would have a favorable chance of getting custody in court however I probably don't need to tell you about the bias and presumption (vis a vis tender years) that the mother is better care provider. Couple this with the fact that she is a master of deception, portrays herself as a christian woman, scout leader, pta member etc, and has a Father who funded her $100,000 to win her last custody battle (and has told me he will do the same again) you can see my dilemma. I have no other family, I am originally from the UK and what familly I have ther is unable to help.

I know there is a Dad (or sympathetic mom) out there that understands and has the financial resources to give myself and my daughter a safe place to live temporarily and hopefully employment so I can get back on my feet. I'll need to get a vehicle, clothes and supplies for my daughter and all that goes with having to take this kind of action.

The only thing I have left of value is my computer, a website that I own (which has great potential) //www.sniper58.com and a sports card collection worth $3,450.00 I am prepared to offer all of these as collateral, I have no criminal background, cep a couple of speeding tickets! So please, if you can will you help me and my daughter out. Thanks for reading, contact me at [email protected]

Barrie
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If those Dad's with resources, help those Dad's without resources, then all Dad's can have some hope.

[scottsmanslassie]

I would say first thing to do is find a job, wether you have to move to a new town or whatever.  Get a good place. Get a good lawyer.  Ask around, make sure to get a lawyer that will actually talk to you, and work for you.  You DON'T have to stick with a crap lawyer.  Find out what your lawyer has to say about the situation.  Also, if you can find any proof of your ex, or someone else stickin' it to you when it comes to getting/keeping a job, talk to your lawyer about that.   You'll probably want to contact an adoption agency and get a home study done.  You will need proof for the court that you are the best place for your daughter.  Wether or not your ex will let you see your daughter, you need to ask/call/ write her about it.  If you can email her, and get a response, that's probably the best, because you can use thoes emails in court.  You're going to want to have your lawyer dig up the alligatoins that your ex made about her ex husband and that she was found untrustworthy.  If she has a psy. eval, have that brought up in court, and possibly the court will have her get a new one.  If so, the court will probably have you get one done too.  You may need to have witnesses that have seen you with your daughter, people who know your character, etc.  If your ex has any convictions, ANYTHING in her past that can be brought up that will help show the real her, you'll want to help your lawyer get it.  What is she like at work?  Has she ever had any problems with co-workers, athority, etc.?  What is your daughter's day care provider think of her?  Has she ever had any problems with your ex, or seen any problems with your ex and your daughter?  You may even want to talk to her ex husband if that's an option.  It is hard to get custody over the mother, but if you can prove that she is unfit, you've got a chance.  
Also, my uncle who won custody of his daughter was fighting against his ex who's daddy footed the bill as well.  He went to go see her dad and told him that he doesn't care how much he is willing to pay, that he was not going to give up on this daughter, and that he be out thousands if he supports his daughter aginst him.  Maybe if you sit down and talk to her dad you can reassure him that you only want the best for your daughter and that you wouldn't have a problem with them coming to see her.  Many grandparents freak that they'll never see their grandchildren, so reassuring them can help.  If you can your ex's dad to realize that you really do want your daughter, and that your ex doesn't let you see her (if he doesn't know...maybe he doesn't if she's that manipulative.)
Never back down, never lose hope.  This may take a few years, but as soon as you lose hope, you've lost her.  My husband and I are fighting for custody of his daughter, and it's been over two years, but we're possibley looking towards the end now.  Check out some other posting on the site, their's a lot of good info. on here.  I hope this helps.  As long as you get somethings lined up for you, it sounds like you may have a chance with your wife's past history of lies in the court, etc.
Keep the hope alive, and God bless.  SJH

[scottsmanslassie]

Hey, I was doing dishes and thinking....  If you were fired without reason, or bad reason, can't you apply for unimployment?  If you get unimployment, they may give you back payment checks starting from the day you were fired.   Just a thought.  SJH